Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Any issue related to famous entertainers and athletes is bound to attract a large amount of attention. The argument about whether these famous people deserve to have more privacy than they have now has been ongoing for a long period of time. Some people support the view that famous people should enjoy more privacy as they should have the privacy when they are off work. However, others don't agree with it and hold different opinions. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement that famous entertainers and athletes deserve more privacy and I will develop my ideas in following paragraphs.
To begin with, famous people are normal people, they deserves the right to have their personal life such as vacation with their family. Imagine if we go to a vacation, there are cameras everywhere, are we able to relax and chill? With the personal room and time, the entertainers and athletes can recharge theirselves and make better performance. Because they usually have to spend a lot of time and efforts to practice. If they can acquire energy from their private life, they can definitely do better on their work. For example, one of the famous singer in my country, Amy, she decided to go on a long vacation to recharge herself. She asked the media and fans to give her some privacy so that she can take some good rests and focus on her new album in the future. One year later, she showed up again with amazing now songs. As a result, I maintain famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy.
Secondly, there are some accidents that famous entertainers and athletes got injured due to lack of privacy. People always like gossip news. Therefore, some reporters and media like to stalk the private life of famous people and publish where the famous people go one vacation and disclose their personal schedules. It trigger some crazy fans chasing the famous people and occurred some incidents. For instance, there were news that a famous Korea star spent vacation on a small island. So a passionate fan visited the island and tried to get closed to the Korea star. In the end, the Korea star got injured because of the inappropriate action from his fans. For this reason, I think famous people should have the privacy as fans are more passionate nowadays.
In light of reasons above, I strongly believe famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy than they have now.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ey have now has been ongoing for a long period of time. Some people support the view that famo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 389, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...when they are off work. However, others dont agree with it and hold different opinio...
^^^^
Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'deserve'
Suggestion: deserve
..., famous people are normal people, they deserves the right to have their personal life s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 320, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'triggers', 'trigs'?
Suggestion: triggers; trigs
...d disclose their personal schedules. It trigger some crazy fans chasing the famous peop...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 761, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y as fans are more passionate nowadays. In light of reasons above, I strongly be...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, such as, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1996.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80963855422 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43124529702 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477108433735 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.784453875 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.7826086957 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0434782609 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.08695652174 5.45110844103 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.380591668248 0.236089414692 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115387824164 0.076458572812 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117136209312 0.0737576698707 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.297122042223 0.150856017488 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.137432624824 0.0645574589148 213% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.