Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
After graduation, the young people, like me, always worry about how to find a good job. Even we already pass the requirements of the company, but we still can not be sure that our job is the best one. There are too much possiblity on the career. Hence, I will support the idea that people should take the job right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. I will elaborate my point of view in reasons related to economy, experience and family.
The first reason why I support the idea is because of the money. After srudents graduate from the university, some of them have school load and need to pay their daily cost by themselves. Hence, people should take the job that he already got and use that salary to maintain his life. I just gradutaed from university in Taiwan in 2014. I choose to take a job in one month after the graduation, beacuse I think that the immediate income is very important to my life.
Second, having some exeperience is good for peoeple to find a better carrer. The manager likes to hire the people with kind of experience, because he can save some training time and make the team work more efficient. Thus, accepting the current job and adding your ability are more helpful to get a satisfying job than waiting.
Third, taking a job makes our parents to worry less. In Taiwan, tradtional parents always treat their son and daughter as childern. They worry everything about their child, so if their child doesn't find a job, they thinks this thing often. When I have a dinner with my family, my father usually asks how my work is. I have already been that job for two years, but my parent still worry about it. Therefore, Waiting a satisfying job causes the concern and stress to our parents.
To sum up, there are many advantages to take the job right away rather than wait a better job. The reaons which are related to money, acknowledgement and family support tha my point strongly.
The first reason why I support the idea is because of the money.
The first reason why I support the idea is due to the money.
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'due to' modifies nouns. 'because of' modifies verbs.
His defeat was due to the lottery issue.
He was defeated because of the lottery issue.
His failure was due to poor preparation
He failed because of poor preparation
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they thinks this thing often.
they think this thing often.
Sentence: There are too much possiblity on the career.
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: After srudents graduate from the university, some of them have school load and need to pay their daily cost by themselves.
Error: srudents Suggestion: students
Sentence: I just gradutaed from university in Taiwan in 2014.
Error: gradutaed Suggestion: graduated
Sentence: I choose to take a job in one month after the graduation, beacuse I think that the immediate income is very important to my life.
Error: beacuse Suggestion: because
Sentence: Second, having some exeperience is good for peoeple to find a better carrer.
Error: exeperience Suggestion: experience
Error: carrer Suggestion: carrier
Error: peoeple Suggestion: people
Sentence: In Taiwan, tradtional parents always treat their son and daughter as childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children
Error: tradtional Suggestion: traditional
Sentence: The reaons which are related to money, acknowledgement and family support tha my point strongly.
Error: reaons Suggestion: reasons
Error: tha Suggestion: than
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1538 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.382 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.286 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 92 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.063 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5