Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the most important thing people learn is from their families.
By and large, the contemporary age is no strange to the notion of education and its necessities in the modern era. Without having an appropriate plan, it depends on chance or exceptional talents of students that they make remarkable improvements in a proper style. Notwithstanding differences, in my view, by paying more and more attention to developing technology throughout the school takes priority over the reconstruction of new spaces. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, the more technological facilities, the more improvements the students make. As a matter of fact, as the technology evolves and creates more and more windows of opportunities for the human being, the students are provided with varied cracking types of equipment in the academic environments, such video projectors, advanced computer systems, to name but a few. not only do these facilities make the progression of students easier, but also they can increase the amount of free time the students have in their schools days. an observation I have made recently is a compelling example of this. being one of the pioneer schools in my city, Isfahan, my brother’s school remodeled its facilities last year and provided some first-rate instruments for the entire school, including new video projectors, electronic boards, several all-in-one computers, and so on. By doing this, the amount of the time the student should be at the class reduced because the teacher, as well as the students, have not to spend time writing on the board and drawing different shapes and figures into their notebooks. As a result, having more free time, they can concentrate on other areas, rectifying their mistakes and developing their abilities in the lab.
Secondly, by providing such technological facilities, the students can communicate with a wider variety of people inside and outside the school, compared with the past. In fact, through the communications and discussion, they can refine their understandings, thereby increasing the opportunities they have in the future. for instance, my university, IKIU, provided two way of communication, which facilitated the students’ communication all over their school days. one way was to establish a communication application for the students’ cell phones in the campus, through which we can interact with our friends and our professor without the need for the Internet connection. In addition, by initiating a high-speed line of the Internet, the students can connect with other professors and even experts all over the world. by doing these two things, the students take a significant number of advantages in the recent times.
All in all, although rebuilding the spaces in the university offer more opportunities for the students to hang out with the friends, I am on the opinion that expanding the technological conveniences will give the students some stunning possibilities to come up with further successes.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Consider replacing "in a proper style" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... that they make remarkable improvements in a proper style. Notwithstanding differences, in my vie...
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Suggestion: Not
...ed computer systems, to name but a few. not only do these facilities make the progr...
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Suggestion: An
...he students have in their schools days. an observation I have made recently is a c...
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Suggestion: Being
...cently is a compelling example of this. being one of the pioneer schools in my city, ...
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Suggestion: For
... opportunities they have in the future. for instance, my university, IKIU, provided...
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Suggestion: One
...mmunication all over their school days. one way was to establish a communication ap...
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Suggestion: By
...rs and even experts all over the world. by doing these two things, the students ta...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, well, as to, for instance, i feel, in addition, in fact, as a matter of fact, as a result, as well as, by and large, in my view, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2535.0 1977.66487455 128% => OK
No of words: 474.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34810126582 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66599839874 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19467315208 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 212.727598566 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533755274262 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 780.3 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.8119073422 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.833333333 100.406767564 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3333333333 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3333333333 5.45110844103 190% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0881940949259 0.236089414692 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0323860776614 0.076458572812 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0258419905853 0.0737576698707 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0533762871675 0.150856017488 35% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0247186231647 0.0645574589148 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 10.9000537634 129% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.16 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 86.8835125448 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 88.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.