Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Along with the development of the economy, people today have better living conditions than before. Thus, more and more people are willing to spend more time on the activity that they like, such as playing video games, to gain happiness. Although some people think spending too much time on personal enjoyment could bring several issues, I do not agree that people today spend too much time doing things they like to do. Instead, I believe people should spend more time on their enjoyment, for the following reason.
First of all, spending time on one's enjoyment could help people maintain their mental health. People today are experiencing explosive growth of the economy, though it brings us better living conditions, what entails it is more stress. Hence, finding ways to relieve our stress is getting important for us, and the easiest and best way to do is to spend time doing things that bring us enjoyment. For example, when I have an extremely busy day at work, the only thing I want to do is playing video games. It could help me temporarily forget all the stress I had from work, so I would not feel overwhelmed the next day. And I can have better performance for my job.
Furthermore, personal enjoyment can also be productive. When a person is doing the thing that he or she likes to do, usually they would have higher efficiency than people who are not. Because when people are spending time on their enjoyment, usually they would feel stronger motivation to do it. And if they can produce dopamine while they are doing the things they like, it is not surprising that they would start pursuing better performance. For instance, when I was doing a part-time job in the exhibition center, I realized that I did not like the job that I was doing. Because I did not like my job, I had poor performance in that position and soon I was fired by the employer. However, after that I found another part-time position that I like, I had a completely different working performance. In the end, the employer even wanted me to keep working for him. Therefore, whether a person is doing the thing he or she likes is closely related to his or her performance.
In conclusion, despite some people have the idea that connects personal enjoyment to unproductivity, for me, however, spending time on personal enjoyment is more like charging ourselves for future challenges. Thus, I do not think that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, rather, I believe people should spend time for their enjoyment so they can be more productive on the thing that they should do.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2136.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 449.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75723830735 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57207549333 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.440979955457 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 656.1 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.5828257887 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.714285714 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.380952381 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52380952381 5.45110844103 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.486112141817 0.236089414692 206% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.155744363738 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.154279905966 0.0737576698707 209% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.348077310218 0.150856017488 231% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0965645047535 0.0645574589148 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.