: People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they
like to do—rather than doing things they should do.
Some people argue that people should devote most of their time doing things that are necessary. They believe that spending too much time on doing unnecessary things is not beneficial for the well being of oneself. However, I strongly disagree with these people and contend that people must spend their time as they like, doing things that they love, for the following reasons.
First of all, I believe that when people follow their passions, they are happier. On the other hand, research has shown that when people do things out of obligation to someone, they tend to be unhappy with their lives. For instance, when I was in fifth grade in school, we had an option to choose either music or art as an elective subject. My parents thought that I should take up music to improve my singing skills but I loved to paint. Out of respect for my parents, I chose music as my elective but practicing singing everyday was making me miserable. I longed to create art and paint with my friends. My parents noticed this and let me choose the art elective. Similarly, when people spend their time doing things that they love, they feel satisfied, content and have a more positive outlook towards everything in their life.
Secondly, investing time in doing something for personal enjoyment increases one’s productivity and skills. For example, a software developer who loves horse riding might not be an efficient and productive employee. She might spend her days staring at her computer thinking of horse-riding when she is supposed to write code. But if she leaves the job and concentrates on horse riding, she will be motivated to spend more of her time doing it and master the skill. It is better to focus on something you like doing, and spend time mastering it than to be a jack of all trades but a master of none. One can be best at something only if he continuously practices it again and again even when other people believe it to be a waste of time.
In conclusion, the issue of whether people should spend their time doing what they love or doing necessary things, is a complex one. Some have suggested that doing things that are expected of them helps complete their tasks on time. Nevertheless, I still assert that spending time doing what we love is more advantageous in the long run.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 523, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...c as my elective but practicing singing everyday was making me miserable. I longed to cr...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, nevertheless, second, secondly, similarly, so, still, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1897.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71890547264 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4570328086 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507462686567 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.767820564 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 94.85 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.2 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440281914662 0.236089414692 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.149882017458 0.076458572812 196% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.141093777717 0.0737576698707 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.322020267106 0.150856017488 213% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.154685110707 0.0645574589148 240% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.