Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. Use details and examples to support your answer.
We can divide our deeds into two different categories, one of which is about our personal interests, enjoyable actions for anybody, and others are about our duties which sometimes are not exactly what we want. Now, there is a controversial question as to whether these days people spend most of their time on their personal enjoyable matters instead of their obligations or not. While there are numerous people that hold this viewpoint, I strongly believe nowadays people pay more attention to their duties in comparison to the past generations. I have several reasons for my opinion, both of them will be elaborated in the following essay.
The first reason that juts out of my mind immediately pondering this issue is the fact that when we compare these days celebrities with the previous ones, we see huge difference. Nowadays, famous individuals spend part of their time to help others which shows exactly their sense of obligation about their people, who help them to reach that point, because nothing would happen for the these celebrities if people were not follow them. For instance, as you may hear by now, Ronaldo spends part of his salary to poor people and he sends his financial aids to different campaigns which help orphants or poor folk, while he could spend this money, which is a considerable amount, on something personal and improve their own net worth. However, we did not see such actions from the past generation of football players. There are various cases these days among actors and singers who help other people in different ways but I only mentioned one well-known of them in above.
Secondly, These days communication technology makes the connections much easier than before and employees are more accessible for bosses, which sometimes interrupts the employees weekends and obliges them to do their jobs even beyond their duties. Nevertheless, in the past there was nothing like this and each person enjoyed his leisure times and weekends. I remember last year my brother and I decided to go on a trip to turkey. After three days, his boss, Mr. Davoudi, called him and tell him some works to do. knowing the fact that there is a big competition about an important position in their firm, my brother decided to do the order and he ruined his holiday because of his responsibility. It would not be the same if it was 20 years ago when there was no mobile phone, and people worked only during office times.
To make the long story short, according to the aforementioned arguments it is obvious nowadays people involve themselves in their obligations more than before, because both of their good behavior as we mentioned Cristiano Ronaldo and the connection which force them to do some duties during their free times. On the other hand, in the past, we did not see the same situation because famous people considered more about their own lives and their weekends with family were not ruined by bosses.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 250, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... Now, there is a controversial question as to whether these days people spend most of their t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 17, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'days'' or 'day's'?
Suggestion: days'; day's
...nown of them in above. Secondly, These days communication technology makes the conn...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, well, while, as to, for instance, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2438.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 497.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90543259557 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72159896747 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55737493392 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 212.727598566 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521126760563 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 750.6 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 71.5397631829 48.9658058833 146% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.411764706 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.2352941176 20.6045352989 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.88235294118 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158187525424 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0535453655195 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.041958443891 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108385104928 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0270860540313 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 58.1214874552 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.79 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.