Some people believe that success comes from possessing money and power. However, I do not agree with this idea and would like to explain why I disagree with as the below reasons.
First, I think that the real success can be achieved by self-satisfaction, not by richness and power. Even though we have lots of money and strong power, but we feel still lonely and unhappy, then we cannot regard our life to be successful. For example, we can see many cases of entertainer suicide. Even though they are already rich and powerful through their performances, but they do not feel satisfaction and happiness, so they select the extreme choice of their lives. They must feel that their life is not successful and no longer meaningful. Therefore, the self-satisfaction and happiness are the most important factors to judge the success.
Second, I agree with the idea that money and power comes from success, not success comes from them. Generally speaking, it is so difficult to buy success with money and power, but they can automatically come to us if we succeed in our own work. For instance, one Korean actress got an Academy Award through her film and then she made lots of money and became very famous in Korea. Also one math-professor solved a world knotty question and then he received a kind of Nobel prize in math and attracted big investments for his further study. Like these cases, money cannot bring you Academy Award and Nobel Prize, but these awards come together with money and power.
To sum up, the real success is from self-happiness and money cannot give us the real success, but wealth and fame follow automatically after success. In this regard, I strongly disagree that possessing money and power lead us success.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... money and became very famous in Korea. Also one math-professor solved a world knott...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, still, then, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, kind of, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1441.0 1977.66487455 73% => OK
No of words: 297.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85185185185 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68815948337 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 212.727598566 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.548821548822 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 441.9 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.4926857687 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0666666667 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.06666666667 5.45110844103 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31500549918 0.236089414692 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11966243652 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108655265649 0.0737576698707 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.222797383315 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0899372914388 0.0645574589148 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.