Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Whereas most people think that studying strongly at school is the best way to achieve success in the future, others believe that the ability to communicate with others is much more important. Personally, I prefer a good relationship with others in the way of being successful. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will examine in the essay.
First of all, it helps individuals to improve their social communication skills and enhance their social interaction with others. Obviously, if they learn the ability to relate well to others, they can meet different types of people with their special point of view which allows them to broaden their own horizon. In contrast, if they do not have this opportunity to interact with others, they may just see the future from their limited perspective. Consequently, they increase their personal skills such as critical thinking which will absolutely help them to achieve their goals in the future. As a result, learning to communicate with others and meeting various kinds of people is essential for success in a future career. For example, when my father started his job about thirty years ago, he was just a simple employee. He was a sociable person who always looking for meeting new people. Furthermore, his friendship with other employees caused that they recognize my father’s ability to manage the work and handle the company. Hence, in choosing the company’s future boss, most of his colleagues voted for my father and finally he achieved his goal of life and became successful.
Second, the ability to make a good relationship with others, increase people’s self-confidence. Evidently, believing in yourself is of significance in being successful. In fact, individuals have faith in their own capabilities which can gain success in their future career. Thus, this self-esteem enables them to overcome self-doubt and have the confidence to take action. This is best demonstrated by my personal experience. About two years ago, although, all my family members were uncertain about starting my own small company, and they mentioned that you should reconsider this idea, but I was confident about my idea and more motivated to start my career. Surprisingly, my self-confidence leads to run a startup which made me one of the successful businesswomen in my own country. I am sure that if my social interaction with others has not increased my self-confidence, I would not have been prosperous in my job.
I conclusion, I am of the opinion that the ability to communicate with others is an important indicator in achieving goals, especially in a future job. This is because it enables individuals to meet different people which cause to broaden their perspective and because improving people’s self-confidence to do well in a future job.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 228, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'broadening'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: broadening
...ls to meet different people which cause to broaden their perspective and because improving...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, may, second, so, thus, well, whereas, for example, i feel, in contrast, in fact, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2345.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 457.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13129102845 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.999665609 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496717724289 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 724.5 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6379373913 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.590909091 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7727272727 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.18181818182 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211215138633 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0657594410668 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0578864924009 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151868849745 0.150856017488 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0534684286869 0.0645574589148 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.