Do you agree or disagree with following statement? young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career

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Do you agree or disagree with following statement? young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career

Even though rewarding and long term career is the most fundamental factor in people's life, having rich and related experience should never be forgotten. Some of young people are employed for a job and keep on it until they will be retired, but other youths experience several various work until find the profitable and appropriate ones. Accordingly, the controversial question is often raised regarding whether young people should test tremendous jobs before choosing the last one and continue it. From my vantage point, I am strongly agreed with the idea and I will explicate my chief reasons through the following paragraphs.

To commence, the first subtle point requires to be mentioned is benefit of rich experience. In order to shed more light on the proposed fact providing that one takes apart diverse occupations, he would gain a lot of experience which helps him in myriad situations. A vivid example, my husbands is known as a versatile person due to participating in different positions. From his teenager ages, he started working either related to his major which is architect or irrelevant to his study. He has enormous experience in the varied businesses such as travel agency, fast food, construction, textile, etc. which are practical and useful for him. Moreover, his relatives and friends admire him since his desirable advices which are given to them. Nevertheless, people with lack of experience feel hopeless and oppressed.

Another compelling reason why I comply with the subject is that people with major experience could be succeeded in their future life. A noteworthy intelligible statistics, revealed by a recently social research, demonstrates that seasoned people could find an occupation easier and faster than inexperienced ones. Now in the competitive environment, the renowned and big companies seek candidates with professional and skillful resume because they believe that this sort of employee would enhance their productivity. However, these companies must pay a high remunerate to them, so they accept its disadvantage because of their profit. Therefore, applicable job opportunities are available for knowledgeable applicants.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to the fact the rich experience creates acceptable chances of finding profitable profession in the future. In addition, people can rely on their experience and knowledge during their job interviews in order to show their abilities and attain the job. I firmly recommend that young people examine several jobs or careers until discover their talents and eventually opt based on them.

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until find the profitable and appropriate ones.
until they find the profitable and appropriate ones.

until discover their talents
until they discover their talents

eventually opt based on them.
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use 'them'.

Sentence: A vivid example, my husbands is known as a versatile person due to participating in different positions.
Description: The word due is not usually used as a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to due

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Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 2152 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.3 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.903 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.368 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.931 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.279 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5