Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that youth is one of the most important periods for all people throughout the world. In this sensitive period, teenagers should be well prepared for their future lives. While some people believe that parents should not let their teenagers have a part-time job, I hold the view that youth should be encouraged to work part-time. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, adolescents who work would increase their chances to attain success since they gain valuable experiences. They can learn a lot of skills from working with different people and in various places, so they would become well-rounded for their future careers. My personal experience is a compelling example of this notion. When I was eleven, during the summer, my father incited me to work part-time in a restaurant near our home. It was a big restaurant in our city, and a lot of people would buy their daily meals from there. At first, it was difficult for me to get accustomed to the atmosphere since it was my first experience. However, I gradually learned how to communicate politely with customers and how to be responsible in doing my duties. Actually, I liked that job and I decided to work there every year. Now, I am a coffee man and I am successful in my job because of those valuable experiences. If my parents had not encouraged me to work part-time in my adolescence, I would not be a prosperous coffee man.
Furthermore, teenagers can broaden their opportunities to get a good job since they can invest their money to learn new skills. Since adolescents are not expected to make money, they can save their income and spend it in many beneficial ways. There are a lot of useful classes that youth can enroll and learn different skills. For instance, considering the above-mentioned example of my experience as a teenager, I could save two hundred dollars per month when I would work in that restaurant. After three months of summer, I had six hundred dollars and I enrolled in a piano class as I had always been learning an instrument. I continued learning piano for seven years and now I can play the piano in the coffee shop. Actually, it was so easy for me to be hired as a coffee man since I was able to play one of the most difficult instruments. This example illustrates that how working as a teenager and investing money to learn useful skills can have a significant effect on one’s future job.
To sum up, considering all the above-mentioned points and reasons, one could conclude that it is better for teenagers to have a part-time job. This is because they can get useful experience, and because they can spend their income to learn new valuable skills.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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... will explore in the following essay. First of all, adolescents who work would...
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...would not be a prosperous coffee man. Furthermore, teenagers can broaden their...
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...cant effect on one's future job. To sum up, considering all the above-men...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, furthermore, however, if, so, well, while, for instance, i feel, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2253.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 478.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71338912134 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67581127817 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78690692259 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445606694561 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 699.3 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.8619800186 48.9658058833 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 93.875 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9166666667 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.375 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205055126609 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632708633129 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442101351659 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145457300947 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0373246903427 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.