Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child's basic education.
Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion

Obviously, I confirm that specific courses such as art, music or other materials relating to them should offer children and even college students in schools and universities. These material provide valuable and useful inputs for students in order to know and boost their knowledge about their own culture and even may be as an entertainment and an amusement to them.

Firstly, these subject thoroughly are educational for us. The culture and civilization of each country are mixed in art, music and so on. To gain future awareness, everyone should usually refer to them. I remember clearly when I was studying in high school, I had some courses about Iranian's folkloric music. In this course, I learned so much both theoretical and practical about musical instruments like Setar which is peculiar to Iranian's local music. It is not possible for me to learn about them if school does not offer such kind of courses. Most importantly, one of my closest friends, his name is Ashkan Behruzi, is now one of the best and the most prominent musician in the field of folkloric music in our city. Surprisingly, In a TV interview he said that the only his motivation for gravitating toward music was to attend classes including music and art class which school offers him. Thus, music, art, and drama classes should be an integral part of children's fundamental education.

Additionally, offering these items, along with other course, in the educational institutions not only bring us fun but also decrease crime rate in the society. For example, opining an exhibition or a gallery in a training location by school affairs helps us to lift our spirit by seeing it. In spite of being fun and enjoyable this, in turn, will reduce a number of crimes and violence among students, because subjects such as art, music and so on will automatically affect behavior and ethic of students. The best experience I have had so far regarding drama class was to play in a positive role, which was held in my school. Despite being fun and pleasurable, that moment was a turning point in my life. This is reason why I get later interested in studying art in university. I am now as a skilled playwright, so my view is positive to present these class in schools.

Suffice it to say, I highly recommend that courses involving art, music, and drama should offer in schools, because taking part in classes certainly will change their behavior and provide them fun. Moreover, participants in classes get motivated to promote themselves.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)
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In spite of being fun and enjoyable this,
In spite of being fun and enjoyable,

This is reason
This is the reason

Sentence: In this course, I learned so much both theoretical and practical about musical instruments like Setar which is peculiar to Iranian's local music.
Description: The fragment so much both is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace much with adjective

Sentence: Surprisingly, In a TV interview he said that the only his motivation for gravitating toward music was to attend classes including music and art class which school offers him.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, post-determiner is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to only and his

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 2029 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.425 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5