Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Schools have always offered students three type of after-school activities. But due to recent limited budget, they can only support one kind of activities. Which one would you choose? Why?
1.sports
2.arts
3.volunteering
Currently, with the accumulated material affluence, society is attaching more importance to the education of students, especially their after-school activities. A bunch of individuals reckon that students ought to participate volunteer activities so as to cultivate them to be altruistic, while others harbor the idea that taking part in some art activities is the optimal choice since it is conducive to improve students’ aptitude of appreciating. Personally speaking, I can hardly concur with the listed opinions for reasons as follows.
To start with, nowadays, due to the society full of fierce and intense competition, students are prone to freak out under the excessive school assignments assigned by different faculties, which makes their eyes have to glue to books or computer screens for hours even a whole day. Therefore, students are suffering from both the physical health and mental health problems. Regarding this issue, participation in after-school sports is conducive to them. Initially, after a whole day sedentary study, they can stretch out their arms and legs so as to relax their muscles which are contracted while seating. Meanwhile, the movement also enables them to accelerate their blood circulation to maintain cardiovascular health. Apart from that, during the sports activities, students are capable of relieving their insurmountable pressure not only through talking with their fellows but also through exhausting themselves by vibrant exercises. Therefore, participating in after-school sports activities contributes to students’ health both mentally and physically.
What’s more, encouraging students to participate in sports activities is also beneficial for students to enhance their interpersonal skills and sense of cooperation. Owing to the one-child policy implemented in China, this generation of children is lack of chance to communicate with other peers and some of them are even spoiled by their parents, which impedes them from having interaction with other individuals. Under this circumstance, it is essential to stimulate them to get involved in sports activities since sports are optimal opportunities for students to interact with each other. To be more specific, in a team sport, students, born with competitive spirits, are eager to win the battle. Owing to the competitive spirits, they have to discuss their strategies utilized in the competition, thus rendering them an opportunity to hone their interpersonal skills, including how to convey their ideas clearly, how to persuade others while complying with etiquette. Additionally, based on the strategies they make, what they need to do is making concerted efforts to gain the upper hand during the rivalry and it ensures that they are capable of having a deep comprehension of the old saying “every a little makes a mickle”, which boost their sense of collaboration and improve their pragmatic skills useful in finding employment in future.
Admittedly, arts and volunteer activities have their perks. Arts render students with opportunities to appreciating masterpieces, while volunteer activities not only enable the school to facilitate its reputation but also foster students’ spirits of help. Nevertheless, compared to the benefits generated from after-school sports activities, these merits seem lackluster.
In a nutshell, considering the advantageous effects on maintaining healthy and sharpening students’ collaboration and interaction skills, it is the preferred option for the school to support the sports activities based on the limited budget.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ght to participate volunteer activities so as to cultivate them to be altruistic, while ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 542, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...hey can stretch out their arms and legs so as to relax their muscles which are contracte...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1352, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...tic skills useful in finding employment in future. Admittedly, arts and volunteer acti...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, nevertheless, regarding, so, therefore, thus, while, apart from, as to, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 96.0 52.1666666667 184% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3077.0 1977.66487455 156% => OK
No of words: 532.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.78383458647 4.8611393121 119% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.24869623392 2.67179642975 122% => OK
Unique words: 281.0 212.727598566 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528195488722 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 941.4 618.680645161 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 84.3043741451 48.9658058833 172% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.85 100.406767564 153% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197116778045 0.236089414692 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676930783289 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0363974123813 0.0737576698707 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128752352575 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0287150595457 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.1 11.7677419355 162% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.17 58.1214874552 48% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 6.10430107527 213% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 10.1575268817 156% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.54 10.9000537634 152% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.7 8.01818996416 121% => OK
difficult_words: 161.0 86.8835125448 185% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 10.002688172 155% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.