In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause
It is critically important to attribute the longer duration of life to correct events or change, thus we can improve and adapt to it in order make our life even longer. Personally, I believe that increase of the technology causing the lengthy average life of human being. I feel this way for three main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, advancement of technology is offering various types of health device for human-being that will heal many kinds of disease and health problems. To be more specific, there are several gadgets which can detect the cause of ailment, and treat the most disease. The less possibility of become deceased early because of disease, the longer duration people will spend living. For example, my grandmother's demise was caused by the tumor of appendix, which may seem unusual in today’s eyes because it seems facile problem nowadays. Unfortunately, since time was not pleasant as today, doctors failed to notice the cause of my grandmother’s disease in light of lack of proper device. Hence, they could not treat my ancestor. On the other hand, today, this ailment can be detected readily thanks to X-RAY, which shows inside of human body. If the technology had not developed as today, people would have still been struggling to treat and notice simple ailments such as the tumor of an appendix.
Secondly, the various type of developed technology is providing opportunity to avoid risk of accident, which is helping us to prevent most of the detrimental risk. For example, simply, phone is facilitating the solution to plenty of problems. When somebody confront any emergency, they can give call to others or helping organizations. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. Last year, I was lost while hiking to the mountain with my friends. However, I could give call to my companions with my cellphone. Therefore, I could find my way back easily thanks to the simple device, mobile phone. If mobile phone had not been produced, or remote in my nation, I would not have found my way, thus die on the mountain because of the shortage of food.
In summation, I am of the opinion of cause of increase of mankind’s life length is advancement of technology and healthy diet. This is because diseases can be treated and recognized readily with high-tech equipment, people can escape from risk with simple tools such as mobile phone, and people are available to take advantage on healthy food.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ments such as the tumor of an appendix. Secondly, the various type of developed ...
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Line 5, column 258, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'somebody' must be used with a third-person verb: 'confronts'.
Suggestion: confronts
...on to plenty of problems. When somebody confront any emergency, they can give call to ot...
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Line 5, column 762, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...untain because of the shortage of food. In summation, I am of the opinion of cau...
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Line 7, column 35, Rule ID: OF_CAUSE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'of course' (=naturally)?
Suggestion: of course
... In summation, I am of the opinion of cause of increase of mankind’s life length is...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, thus, while, as to, for example, i feel, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2078.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 418.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97129186603 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70946507264 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543062200957 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 657.0 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.9460089278 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.9523809524 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9047619048 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.2380952381 5.45110844103 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112081941333 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.033188540745 0.076458572812 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0273093913956 0.0737576698707 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0722180416993 0.150856017488 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.026024353813 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.