In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.
It is undiniable that people these days live longer than before. The Maximum age now is around 110 years old, and there are many people who live longer than that. Certainly, there are many reasons for that, but personally, I feel that technological improvments play an important role in that. I think this way for several reasons, which I am going to explain in the following essay.
To begain with, technology is crucial in all parts of a person's life. Therefore, any small improvement means an additinal improvement in the quality of life of this person. Especially if that improvement has an effect in the medical or health field. For example, previously, my grandmother used to wash her laundries by her hands. She almost spent three or four hours weekly bending toward the sink to make sure that her clothes are 100% clean. That way of life cased her a very sever back pain at around her forties, which in turn put her in risk of being paralysis forever, because the only treatment for this pain was the surgery. In our days, we have waching machines. No one needs to bend for a long time anymore, and my mother is in her sixties without any pain or health issues in her back.
Second, I think that technological improvements are reaching the medical field intensively. Consequently, they are affecting people's health, that in turn helping them to live better and longer life. For instance, one of the great technological improvement is the insulin pump. These days, diabetic patients are able to live almost a normal healthy life due to this pump. This pump is monitoring the glucose level for 24 hours. It prevents the fluctuations in glucose levels, which means there is no hyperglycimic or hypoglycimic incidence anymore. Moreover, there is no diabetes complications.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that the technology improvements account to the longer life of people at our generation. It is not only because any small improvement affects the quality of life, but also many improvements affect people's health directly.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 57, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...technology is crucial in all parts of a persons life. Therefore, any small improvement ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i feel, i think, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 9.8082437276 0% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1691.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 343.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93002915452 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30351707066 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81570775908 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.551020408163 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.565247658 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.5238095238 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3333333333 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.66666666667 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245861230235 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0773689877918 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0528642710224 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16667608038 0.150856017488 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0411539156044 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.