If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change wouldyou make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would
you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Schools can play an essential role in students life. If I abale to change one thing in my school, I should renovate and build an extention to my current library building. I will elabrate on my viewpoint by discussing my reasons in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, When I was in school, I always annouyed with the condition of our school library. It was too small for students to study and consentrate on their asignments, especially when we had upcoming exam. The reading section became to crowded, which no one could study appropriately and distracted every time someone closed the door or chaneged the position of his chair. New building will add more space to the reading section and create a beter space for students to spend their time there conveniently. Besides it can play an important role in the school reputation. Parents around the neighborhood will speak about our school utilities and the demand for enroling in our school increases.
Moreover, I always complain to the principal because of broken doors and cahirs. The air condition in the library was awful. In summer time, the library was too hot and in the winter it was too cold, which made it hard for students to spend their time. The renovation of the building can create a calm and pleasant place for students to study and spend their entire times in the library willingly. Besides it encourages them to be there even they do not want to study, just because experience a cool room.
In addition, our library suffered from shortage of reference books. Every book that we were seeking was unavailable for us. We could not find a proper book to accomplish our school research or paper. Consequently, we had to go to other libraries in town and spent a lot of money for memberships. By buying new books not only students can explote the plenety of resources, but also educators can use these books to improve their teaching techniques and methods.
In conclusion, by considering all the factors that I mentioned above, This new structure not only will create a better place for students to improve their performance in the school, but also facilitate their studying procedure and provide a unique opportunity to have a better quality education and have a flourishing life in the future.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 512, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Besides,
...to spend their time there conveniently. Besides it can play an important role in the sc...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 129, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[2]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
... condition in the library was awful. In summer time, the library was too hot and in the win...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 399, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Besides,
... entire times in the library willingly. Besides it encourages them to be there even the...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, if, moreover, so, as to, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1883.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 388.0 407.700716846 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85309278351 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71850778332 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523195876289 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.3654351384 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.15 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0745641723982 0.236089414692 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.02516381949 0.076458572812 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0312601790159 0.0737576698707 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0436483651498 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0357732113392 0.0645574589148 55% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.