Imagine that you have been given the opportunity to advise the government of a city or region (area) that you are familiar with to spend more money on ONE thing to benefit the city or region. Which ONE of these do you believe would be the most beneficial for the city or region? Why?
-Providing more affordable housing
-Reducing air and water pollution
-Attracting new businesses to the city or region
If I have enough expertise to advise the government on one thing that can benefit the city or region, some people would undoubtedly suggest the government provide more affordable housing. Others would recommend it to reduce air and water pollution. Still, others claim that attracting new businesses to the city or region is the most favorable approach. For me, I believe that attracting new businesses is the best approach. My reasons are as follows.
To begin with, the government should place more emphasis on the economy, and suggesting it attract new businesses to the city or region can boost the local economy and benefit the city. As an example, the Hsinchu City government wanted to incorporate computer technologies by creating several information-science-related job opportunities. Therefore, thousands of IT companies decided to reside in Hsinchu, and these prestigious companies led to the increasing number of book stores, schools, movie theaters, etc. Several decades later, the whole economy of Hsinchu City skyrocketed, and Hsinchu become the third most prosperous city in Taiwan. On the other hand, four years ago, the Miaoli County government planned to provide a more affordable housing prices by forcibly enacting the "Miaoli County Minimum Housing Price Decree". Nevertheless, the local economy of Miaoli County collapsed because no housing firm wanted to establish itself in Miaoli County. Apparently, offering more affordable prices is not a good idea.
In addition, the government should try its best to earn money, and attracting new businesses to the city or region can help it procure a significant amount of budget, which in turn benefits the whole city. For instance, several years ago, the Taipei City government established a regulation that attracted numerous electrical engineering firms to reside in Neihu District. These companies and organizations required a considerable amount of resources, including water, electricity, and so on. Therefore, each company paid approximately more than three billion dollars of tax in total every year to the Taipei City government. As a result, it procured lots of money, and it also spent some portion of that budget on assisting these companies in producing high-quality silicons, leading to a virtuous cycle. Contrarily, recommending the government to reduce air and water by investing in solar energy or windmill companies might make it waste too much money, since solar panels and windmills are deplorably expensive.
In conclusion, if I have enough knowledge to advise the government of one thing that can benefit a city, I would undoubtedly recommend it to attract new businesses due to the aforementioned reasons
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 92, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'attracts'?
Suggestion: attracts
...hasis on the economy, and suggesting it attract new businesses to the city or region ca...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 128, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'procures'?
Suggestion: procures
...esses to the city or region can help it procure a significant amount of budget, which i...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, if, nevertheless, so, still, therefore, third, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2293.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47255369928 4.8611393121 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18537528499 2.67179642975 119% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517899761337 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 736.2 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9647982113 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.684210526 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0526315789 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.45110844103 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247928951451 0.236089414692 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0745121596035 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0711912223583 0.0737576698707 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168055790521 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0519949568308 0.0645574589148 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.22 58.1214874552 55% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 10.9000537634 133% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.44 8.01818996416 118% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.