Independent TOEFL essay TPO 13 A D The extended family grandparents cousins aunts and uncles is less important now than it was in the past

The statement brings the topic of extended families under scrutiny. I personally feel, the issue at hand is very subjective since no two families are exactly similar. Although the number of smaller, nuclear families has now increased in comparison with the past, it does not necessarily imply that the importance of extended family members has decreased.

At the outset, I would like to discuss the Indian context since I can effectively relate to the family structure in my own country. Indian families today have reduced in size. An individual usually prefers to live only with his wife and kids. This was not true in the past where integrated Indian families were a commonplace. However,even today, during festivals or ceremonies like marraige or after the death of a family member, a strong bond can be observed among these families. All the family members come together and every individual's opinion counts. You may also find the odd integrated family still living together. Personally, I live in a family of eight including my parents, grandparents, my uncle, aunt and a cousin. For any occasion or before any important decision the entire family-immediate and extended- is consulted.

In the western world however, the scenario changes. In the western, more developed countries, families tend to be secluded. Extended family members are invovled only during special occasions and tend to have very less or no impact on the lives of an individual. For instance my friend living in the United States visits his grandparents maybe once or twice every year. They rarely have any information about his life events, the progress he is making at school or his future plans. In contrast, my grandparents, living in the same house, know everything about my life. In my opinion, these differences in families can be observed all over the world. As culture, values and ethics change the importance of extended family members will change accordingly.

To summarize, I feel generalizing the trend that the importance of extended family members has decreased, is an over-simplification of a complex phenomenon. Getting a better and a more accurate picture is also very difficult due to the differences that I have outlined hitherto among various families.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 334, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , even
...ian families were a commonplace. However,even today, during festivals or ceremonies l...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 530, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... family members come together and every individuals opinion counts. You may also find the o...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, however, if, may, so, still, for instance, i feel, in contrast, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1894.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2032967033 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95452696072 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.568681318681 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.7372848639 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.0909090909 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5454545455 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.36363636364 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201237543296 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0600219507146 0.076458572812 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0524095893473 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128453952619 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0447153129739 0.0645574589148 69% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 58.1214874552 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 10.9000537634 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.