Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Since a long time ago, the use of rewarding system has proved its effectiveness in promoting productivity in many aspects of life, especially in education. Nowadays, many parents even give their children money when they achieve a good grade at school. If I were a parent I would probably do that for my kids too.

There is no doubt school-age children love being rewarded and will try their best to obtain any kinds of treats they are offered. By clearly establishing a rewarding system for their excellent performance at school, parents are making their children feel as if they were in an exciting game that they surely wanted to win. As a result, these young schoolers start to form a determined mindset and even set goals for achieving high scores in their school report. In order to do that, they will naturally have to put in their best effort to learning and studying at school, thus improving their own learning outcomes. Not only will the children be eager to try hard but the parents can also become satisfied with how well their kids are doing at school.

Moreover, unlike foods, toys or trips, money certainly makes a very different reward as it is more practical to a child's social development. Getting to approach this kind of special paper from such a young age, young schoolers may soon start to learn their lessons about money, such as how it works and how valuable it is. More specifically, as these students are striving for the best possible score in their math test, they might realize how hard it is to finally receive some money as a reward. Parents can also take this as an opportunities to provoke their thoughts on how difficult it is for mom and dad to earn that money. In addition, reward-earning kids will develop a sense of financial management as they get to decide on how the money should be spent. This skill will be very helpful in the future when they grow up and start making their own money.

In conclusion, offering children money for their high achievement at school can be very beneficial to them since it not only gives these students a source of external motivation for studying diligently but also helps them learn their money lessons since they are at school-age. Parents can also enjoy the positive results this rewarding method will bring to their kids and to the development of future society as a whole.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 529, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an opportunity' or simply 'opportunities'?
Suggestion: an opportunity; opportunities
...a reward. Parents can also take this as an opportunities to provoke their thoughts on how diffic...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, may, moreover, so, thus, well, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, no doubt, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1949.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73058252427 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54678510755 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52427184466 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 595.8 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 46.5875771397 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.8125 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.75 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.625 5.45110844103 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306053589391 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114844430295 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613422203012 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208404899251 0.150856017488 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0310231867439 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.