Some people believe that remaining happy and optimistic in life is more important than success itself. I totally agree with this idea and would like to explain my opinion with reasons and examples as below.
First, we generally want success to become happy in the end. If there are two choices, one is success without happiness and the other is happiness without success, I surely would choose the latter without hesitation. Success lacking happiness is totally meaningless or at least less important than being happy and optimistic in life. For example, one Korean actress got married with a son of Samsung family in 20 years ago. She was beautiful, famous and married with a rich man of Samsung family. Most people envied her who had everything and she seemed to be the most successful woman in Korea. However, several years later she got divorced and she was interviewed that she was not happy at all during the marriage period. At that time, we could realize that happiness cannot be bought by richness, beauty and popularity.
Second, the standard of success is not an absolute one to measure or judge. It is a just relative one, so it is so difficult to say how much power or money can be regarded as a success. It is strongly depending on the level of self-satisfaction, happiness and appreciation. Most successful people do not want to regard them as successful men, so they are continuously spending most of their time to get a higher success, even sacrificing the happy time with family and friends for their success. For instance, one big Korean game company owner made a suicide few months ago. He was a top 10 richest person in Korea and his company was so successful in the world game industry. However, he had tremendous stress and burden to make new big hit games continuously to keep his success. Finally, he could be out of the success-winning race through terminating his life at the end.
To sum up, success looks like giving us perfect happiness, but it does not guarantee real happiness, because winning success is similar to an endless race without break. Actually, real success can be acquired from happy mind such as self-satisfaction and appreciation. In this regard, I fully support the idea that happiness and optimism are much more important than success in life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 189, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... money can be regarded as a success. It is strongly depending on the level of self-satisfaction, happ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, however, if, look, second, so, at least, for example, for instance, such as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1907.0 1977.66487455 96% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8524173028 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76576402242 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.534351145038 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 595.8 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.3236413353 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.8095238095 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7142857143 20.6045352989 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.28571428571 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311170267095 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0968894736081 0.076458572812 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0991137023179 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228565863956 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.100268090351 0.0645574589148 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.