Nowadays, children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smartphones, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children’s development.
As time passes, the type of entertainments is changing with galloping rates. In the past, children played in the yard with their peers but nowadays, every child has a video game, computer, smartphone, and to name but a few and spends his/her spare times with them. In this regard, there is a long-standing discussion among psychologists about which one is better for the children's development. Some parents allow their offspring to rely too much on the technology because they do not have any time to play with them. Others, however, advocate the idea that their offspring should be entertained with toys and play with their friends. I personally, concur with the latter. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most important reasons.
To begin with, in today's modern world, everyone ought to have some mobility not to suffer from diseases. Children who spend their time immobile using technology are in a danger of gaining weight, hearth diseases, blood pressure, and to name but handful. On the other hand, children who are active and play outside with their friend are healthy and even more happy. For example, I can recall my childhood when I played with my sister and my cousin in our yard. All of us had a bicycle and every day we allocate some hours to play with each other. Now, when I recall those days, I am very satisfied with my childhood. Had I rely on the technology in my childhood, I would have been obese and ill now.
Secondly, children could learn a lot from playing with each other. On the other hand, they may learn bad things from technology. Parents have to care about their children when they use social media. Human beings are very curious about every things and child are not exception. They are willing to know everything that maybe is not suitable for them such as violence. For example, my cousin is an impolite child because his mother does not pay attention to what extent he uses social media.
All in all, I believe that parents should monitor the time that children sit in a particular place and gaze at screen. Children allowed to use media all the day without any limitation are susceptible to different kinds of illnesses and harshness.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 623, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[4]
Message: Possible agreement error – use past participle here: 'relied'.
Suggestion: relied
...very satisfied with my childhood. Had I rely on the technology in my childhood, I wo...
^^^^
Line 13, column 137, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'using'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: using
...ce and gaze at screen. Children allowed to use media all the day without any limitatio...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1821.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 380.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79210526316 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5163881142 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552631578947 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 553.5 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.0535815941 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.7727272727 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2727272727 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289534250266 0.236089414692 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775566083797 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0577979685649 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160056341876 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0762106495485 0.0645574589148 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.