It is commonly accepted that take a part-time job have a lot of benefits for teenage children, we can see its positive effects on older people who had an experience of a part-time job during young age. Contrary, to this popular beliefs there are still those who argue that teenage children should spend their free times just for extra- courses practice and some activities that could improve their education in school because it is the main factor that determines their success in future. I, to a great extent, disagree with this idea that one of the best ways that parents can help their children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
First and foremost, a part-time job can prepare children to enter a bigger society. Teenagers spend most of their time at school and with their friends and teachers or at home. In this small community, all of the people are so kind and caring. When students take a job, they present in the real condition of society. They find out that in the real world there are a lot of different people with different characters and these relationships can develop their personality and confidence because they can use their knowledge about social behaviour in the real situations. In addition, it is a very good opportunity for team working practice. In the workplace students should collaborate with other people and co-workers, Thus they learn to respect other people points of view and practice patience. In this way, they obtain abilities that are necessary for adult life.
Another significant fact that should be taken into consideration is that engaging in job improve teenage children responsibility. When children take a job they should be answerable to their boos. The workplace have more serious atmosphere than school or home and it led to they try to do their task in the best way. Children in order to the responsibility to their boos, try to manage their time and have a plan for each day. Furthermore, making money is very enjoyable for all people and it encourages them for independency that is another important factor for a good adult life.
On the basis of reasons that mentioned above, I am convinced that take a part-time job have a lot of benefits for teenage children, like preparing them for social maturity and responsibility.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 479, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...in factor that determines their success in future. I, to a great extent, disagree with th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 203, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...rs or at home. In this small community, all of the people are so kind and caring. When stu...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 797, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e points of view and practice patience. In this way, they obtain abilities that ar...
^^
Line 5, column 131, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...mprove teenage children responsibility. When children take a job they should be answ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, so, still, thus, in addition, in fact, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1924.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88324873096 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69962487004 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489847715736 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 604.8 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.0551829702 48.9658058833 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.176470588 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1764705882 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70588235294 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.550141902347 0.236089414692 233% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.176506929371 0.076458572812 231% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.164806580155 0.0737576698707 223% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.361967840081 0.150856017488 240% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.132139872006 0.0645574589148 205% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.