the opinion pf celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Without the shadow of doubt, celebrities have always played an important role among younger people since they deify them. As some people may think that youngers are not influenced by famous people others may think vise versa. As far as I am concerned juvenilles recieve a huge impact from an important person comparing to older people so. In the following I will delve into most conspicuous reasons which persuaded me to put forward this idea.
First and foremost, youngers are not as mentally mature as older people with less experience so they adore a celebrity blindly and as a result makes and idole from him or her. Youngers find celebrities charismatic which means following them and trying to be like them like the way they clothe while older people do not even recognize them. An example can illustrate my point. I live in Iran and one of the celebrities here is Golzaar who is a good actor and at the same time a singer with millions of adherers. So girls love to marry him and boys try to be someone like him in order to attract girls. He is the one who defines mode in Iran and when he shows up in television with a new style, every one will follow him. On the other hand my father does not know who is Golzaar and had never attended any of his concerts but when he see others who are younger adores him, he just nodes his head because he does not care.
Another point one should concider to account this significant is celebrities are know as successful people with a dreamy job. A concequence of this is youngers who wants to start working prefer to be like them so that they prosper too without recognizing that only one in a million will success. youngers mostly copy celebrities behavior and their way of life in order to become one. What happened to my friend is a compelling example of this situation. A friend of mine whose name is Billy loved to become a singer like David Jones but Jones had an unusual lifestyle. He used to live in a van travelling around the world with a cello playing for everyone. Jones was Billy's definition of a successful celebrity so he bought a van and a cello travelling in hope of success but he returned to Iran after a year. When I had asked him how was it and why did he gave up, he answered me that not every one liked him so he had no money with a hard life. Also he had wasted a year of his life while his father told him this is not the right decision to follow.
To wrap it, all aforementioned reasons and examples advocate that youngers are highly influenced by celebrities since they want to have a job like them and they are not mentally prepared enough.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 123, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...g younger people since they deify them. As some people may think that youngers are...
^^
Line 5, column 833, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'sees'.
Suggestion: sees
...ttended any of his concerts but when he see others who are younger adores him, he j...
^^^
Line 9, column 82, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'known'.
Suggestion: known
...unt this significant is celebrities are know as successful people with a dreamy job....
^^^^
Line 9, column 297, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Youngers
...hat only one in a million will success. youngers mostly copy celebrities behavior and th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 948, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...im so he had no money with a hard life. Also he had wasted a year of his life while ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, while, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2146.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 484.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.43388429752 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44012375666 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50826446281 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.2923556385 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.19047619 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0476190476 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.2380952381 5.45110844103 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161717056066 0.236089414692 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0550443050792 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0622407800034 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12707783754 0.150856017488 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0578216713403 0.0645574589148 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.71 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.