in some countries teenagers have jobs while they are still students. do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

in some countries teenagers have jobs while they are still students. do you think this is a good idea?

These days', the topic of teenager's job is a common controversy among parents and teenager in most families. Some parents think that is better for teenagers to be concentrate on their education rather than get a job and following loss some of hours of day. But another group, little one, agreed with working of their children besides study because in their opinion having some part job will not hurt the educational condition of their children. I, as a one, subscribe to the idea of second group for these reasons that not only do they be afflict by work, but also they give some important benefits that will lasted during their life, namely preparing for being economical independent in future, practicing managing their time and enhance or create some good morality in their personality.
Firstly, it is crystal clear that everyone must become independent in economic aspects of their life. The most common time that young people have to rely on their own fund is when they attended to university. I think this time is more than in a compulsory way in most families, so it will be more beneficial for each person to be prepared for that. The best time in order to get preparation to the very goal is when children are teenager because they can experience atmosphere of job position, enhance their ability to manage their money, and be on some real condition that they have some important duty. Additionally the most significant aspect of this situation is that the teenager have their parents' support in order to compensate their probable defeat in their first job's positions and give them hand to preparing in an assurance way.
Secondly, psychologically speaking, the characteristic in human beings will be shape at their lower age, so it is the best time to enhance or create some morality in their personality. Undoubtedly, jobs give teenagers some opportunities to experience more challenge inasmuch as find more virtues in their personality result in more successful life in future. Some of the morality gifts which job carry for people are confidence, independence, and sustainability. When they experience the hard condition during day because of simultaneously studying and working, they will be more sustainable during severity. By job, the dependent character of children will alter to independent character, accordingly they will be guaranteed that they can leave their home to university in future without any problem. Moreover, one way that people can choose to improve their confidence is that make some situation for themselves to afford their economic problems, and it is not to mention that job do this well.
In summary, the people that experience simultaneously education and job have more ability to manage their life because of their early preparation for job and get some good morality by that.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'some of', you should use 'the' ('some of the hours') or simply say ''some hours''.
Suggestion: some of the hours; some hours
...ather than get a job and following loss some of hours of day. But another group, little one, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 685, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...paring for being economical independent in future, practicing managing their time and enh...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 240, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a compulsory way" with adverb for "compulsory"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...versity. I think this time is more than in a compulsory way in most families, so it will be more be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 605, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...ion that they have some important duty. Additionally the most significant aspect of this sit...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 349, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...sonality result in more successful life in future. Some of the morality gifts which job c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 360, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...sult in more successful life in future. Some of the morality gifts which job carry for peop...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, first, firstly, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, i think, in summary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2359.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07311827957 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82787440085 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462365591398 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 766.8 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.5209964732 48.9658058833 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.4375 100.406767564 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0625 20.6045352989 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.875 5.45110844103 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222189290381 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0939545047397 0.076458572812 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0469129033817 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168080480354 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0258451398784 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.72 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.