Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

It is widely accepted that children need motivation at school-age. As some people may hold this view that some parents should offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint. As far as I am concerned, I personally agree with first belief. Among myriad reasons which support my idea, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

First and foremost, based on psychologists' research children need motivation to survive in arduous moments ,since they are very sensitive. Money is a great idea to encourage them. Beside of that, when parents give them an amount money for each high grade, they would notice that their encouragement have been seen by their parents. In addition, this price persuade them to obtain better grade than before. This process helps them to pass the school days easier and they feel that their parents are always support them. For example, when I was a student at primary school, I was a lazy students who hated all the lessons. Finally, my parents decided to encourage me. Thus, they had promised me before the exams that if you gain a good mark, they would offer me a prize, particularly money. Furthermore, the money is the one the main reason that I have developed in school lessons.

Second reason that should take account into significant that money is a valuable thing in today's lives. Money's value are understood by people when they start a serious job and have a meaningful income. In my opinion, children should get familiar to value of the money as soon as possible. They should know that earning money is difficult and it is necessary to have a diligence behavior. In this situation, parents can play a prominent role. When the children are offered by parents, they would notice that obtaining money needs hardworking. For instance, again about my own childhood experience, I have loved video games and my parents did not buy them for me. They said that if you pass the exams with great marks, they would offer me money and it could give chance to me to buy them. In that ages, I totally have perceived the money's value.

To wrap it up all the aforementioned reasons and examples leads us to the conclusion that based upon the today's lifestyle. Encourage student and get familiar to money's value are two plausible reasons of my statement. Actually there are more reasons and examples advocate the claim which is not mentioned above. by and large, I highly recommend parents should motivate their children to pass the burdens.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 107, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...motivation to survive in arduous moments ,since they are very sensitive. Money is ...
^^
Line 3, column 586, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'student'?
Suggestion: student
...student at primary school, I was a lazy students who hated all the lessons. Finally, my ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 106, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'todays'' or 'today's'?
Suggestion: todays'; today's
...s to the conclusion that based upon the todays lifestyle. Encourage student and get fa...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 312, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: By
...the claim which is not mentioned above. by and large, I highly recommend parents s...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, by and large, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 71.0 43.0788530466 165% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2156.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85585585586 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53044123872 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506756756757 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 665.1 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.9798931148 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.9230769231 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0769230769 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46153846154 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.432569270814 0.236089414692 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105376684074 0.076458572812 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0983588628015 0.0737576698707 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267113078002 0.150856017488 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126355230173 0.0645574589148 196% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 11.7677419355 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.