Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Most parents put a lot of effort to educate their children in various ways as well as teachers do in the school. Some of the methods are useful. Others, however, may have the opposite effect. Here is an issue that some parents offer their children money for each high mark they get in school, which draws some attention. People have different views on this issue. Some would say it is a good idea to do so. Yet, others argue that it is not appropriate for doing this. As far as I am concerned, I incline to the former point. I will take a closer look at this view for several reasons.

The most immediate point is parents award their children who get a high grade are an effective approach to encourage them to do better in school. Studying is painstaking especially if one wants to rank first in school. We can imagine how hard it would be. As parents, they should care about their children and consider if there is a way to recognize the outcome that their children have. Therefore, offering some money is an effective way to show their consideration as well as encouragement. As that being said, children will study harder and try to get a higher score in school.

Another point worth mentioning is that money is a motivation agent for children when they perform well in school. As a saying goes, no pain no gain. In turn, if one works so hard and gets things well done, he or she deserves a reward, which is a better way to motivate them to be more successful. For example, when I was a kid, my mother told me that if I get a full mark on my math exam, then she would give me 5 dollars, which I can use the money to buy something that I want. I felt so motivated that I worked so hard in order to obtain the money. As a result, I got a full mark and I was so happy that I think as long as I do my best and I will succeed. Thus, money as a reward that can truly stimulate the will that a child wants to be the best.

Further lending credence to my position is that rewarding can release the pressure of children. As we all know that working so hard is a good thing to do. But it is equally important that we need some relaxation. Therefore, if children get a high grade in school, it would be reasonable for children to relax. In this case, money would be a necessity. They can spend money on playing some video games or some snacks whatever they like. Therefore, parents offer them some money which is helpful for their children to get some fun.

Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 114, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...s as well as teachers do in the school. Some of the methods are useful. Others, however, ma...
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...l that a child wants to be the best. Further lending credence to my position is that...
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...g can release the pressure of children. As we all know that working so hard is a g...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for example, i think, as a result, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1992.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 467.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.26552462527 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39875913063 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477516059957 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 617.4 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.1913637043 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 68.6896551724 100.406767564 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1034482759 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.93103448276 5.45110844103 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.48941749304 0.236089414692 207% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119041815603 0.076458572812 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113445909741 0.0737576698707 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.329500107363 0.150856017488 218% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.11484924556 0.0645574589148 178% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.7 11.7677419355 57% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 80.62 58.1214874552 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.1575268817 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 7.19 10.9000537634 66% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.97 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 10.002688172 50% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.