Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Undoubtedly, all parents want that their children have a good future in their life and became an effective person for society, so parents try many ways based on their own experiences and knowledge to teach their children about life and difficulties that children will face in their future life. Although some people think that this is a good idea to offer money as prize for high scores, some people think this is worse. In my point of view offering money has benefit for children this may cause some problem about children characteristics when they became an adult.

Money has a power and children can sense this power, buying anything they want is possible when they have their own money. This will be very exciting for children to get their own needs without asking their parents to buy for them. In this situation children attempt to get high grade to get money from their parent. In consequence children study more and this help them to get some important skills, and these all help student to be successful in the class and prepare student for next level of education very well. Children also learn that if you try hard even you get better score you will admire by your family and get prize or gifts so when they became adult they will work hard to get same result and they will be very successful person in their life.

On the other hand, this method will make some important characteristic problems in children future life. If you learn doing everything for money you absolutely loose value of some important things, the life is not about making money, because there are very important aspects in our life such as learning to be creative to spend your knowledge to making people life easy and comfortable and helping people without paying. If our kids learn that every good work should be paid, we cannot assume that our children take a volunteer job or charity. Human life is not spending money for your life. When people help each other for free they feel very peace and this actions are satisfying. our children should learn that success is important thing in our life but it has no mean if we are not able to help each other.

Although offering money as prize has lots of benefits for our children, there are some problems with this so we can offer a gift some times to encourage our children to try hard on their home-works and study well to be a good person in their life.

Votes
Average: 6.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 119, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to do'.
Suggestion: to do
...s in children future life. If you learn doing everything for money you absolutely loo...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 655, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...other for free they feel very peace and this actions are satisfying. our children sh...
^^^^
Line 9, column 668, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...e they feel very peace and this actions are satisfying. our children should learn that success...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 684, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Our
... peace and this actions are satisfying. our children should learn that success is i...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, well, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1979.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6455399061 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.24474032638 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.434272300469 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 602.1 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.3662058685 48.9658058833 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.933333333 100.406767564 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.73333333333 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.396517149981 0.236089414692 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.164279659474 0.076458572812 215% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0891676045347 0.0737576698707 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.269838997819 0.150856017488 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0844791208875 0.0645574589148 131% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 10.1575268817 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.03 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 86.8835125448 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 68.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.