Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In modern era, education system has absorbed increasing attention to itself due to its importance. As different educational system has its own advantage and disadvantage, parents are conserned about their children and want to encourage them to study their lessons as good as possible. A controvertial question which arises here is how to encourage children and how to persuade them to study their lessons since studing is the most fatuiging job for the children. One of the possible way to motivate the children is to give them money for each high mark they get. Actually, I am strongly agree with this method and I support this way because of its motivation power. In the following sentences I will ellaborate on this.

The first vital point to bear in mind is that by giving the children money for each high grade, they will be eager to study more and also with high depth to get top mark and recieve money. To be more specific, our brain is eager to be praised as soon as possible and receive its reward. Due to some deficiencies in different educational system children are not able to have wide perspective about their future and they are not aware of their studing reasons. Moreover, there are some lessons which are extremely boring such as geography and Arabic language which makes the studing harder for students. On the other hand, by this way children will be more enthusiastic to learn those lessons which not only beneficial for their future but also helps their general knowldge. For example, when I was a child, I hated Arabic language lesson and I got awful grade at the exams. Once my mother told me if you study for Arabic better and get high mark, I will pay you five dollar. After that, I tried harder and I was so motivated to study harder and after three month I became one of the top scores in our class.

The second reason which deserve some words to speak about is that, by paying money to the children, they can also learn how to manage their money as well. To be more precise, children should learn personal accounting as soon as possible and this way is one of the most effective one. Once the children study for the lesson and work hard for that, he or she is aware of the value of that money and also make plan to save it or even invest it. Fo example, when I was a child, I had a box which I called it money box. I gathered all the received money in that box and saved them for myself to spend it when it is really crucial. After my mother told me that she want to pay me for every top mark, I became more avid to collect those money in my money box and save them. After a while, once I wanted to buy a playstation consule, I took a look at the money box and I got amazed. I have saved 768 dollar in that box and guess what? the plastation consule price was just 500 dollar, so I could buy some other stuff with the rest of money or even save them for another circumstances.

To make the long short, I am strongly agree with the idea to give children money for each top mark since I have good memories of this method and also I have tried this on my brother and it worked as well. Just because some educational system suffer from deficiencies is not a good reason to leave the childrens alone and parents rule became more important in this situation. So they have to encourage them to study because studing is beneficial for their future and they should do their best in this part of their life.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 588, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
... mark they get. Actually, I am strongly agree with this method and I support this way...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 967, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'dollars'.
Suggestion: dollars
... and get high mark, I will pay you five dollar. After that, I tried harder and I was s...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1057, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'months'.
Suggestion: months
...tivated to study harder and after three month I became one of the top scores in our c...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 725, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...top mark, I became more avid to collect those money in my money box and save them. After a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 893, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'dollars'.
Suggestion: dollars
... box and I got amazed. I have saved 768 dollar in that box and guess what? the plastat...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 928, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
... 768 dollar in that box and guess what? the plastation consule price was just 500 d...
^^^
Line 9, column 970, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'dollars'.
Suggestion: dollars
...e plastation consule price was just 500 dollar, so I could buy some other stuff with t...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 39, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
... To make the long short, I am strongly agree with the idea to give children money fo...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, look, moreover, really, second, so, thus, well, while, for example, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 92.0 43.0788530466 214% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2808.0 1977.66487455 142% => OK
No of words: 637.0 407.700716846 156% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.40816326531 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02382911018 4.48103885553 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33508766016 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.405023547881 0.524837075471 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 898.2 618.680645161 145% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.7428797279 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.0 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.84615384615 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286666647004 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0853234417514 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0663511088362 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203172759095 0.150856017488 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441394014364 0.0645574589148 68% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.59 10.9000537634 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.91 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.