Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Apparently, in every corner of the globe, parents want their children to be well educated and shine among their peers so that they can take pride in their children. In this regard, monetary reward has always been considered as a way to propel children and students towards studying harder and getting good grades. Contrary to many people who believe that this educational strategy, i.e. giving money for high grades, is efficient, I totally disagree with this strategy and I am o the opinion that parents should not offer money to their school-age children for the high grades they get at school. The reasons, including but not limited to the following, substantiate my viewpoint.
To begin with, when parents offer their children money for the high grades they get in school, children will not understand and appreciate the importance of value of education. To be more specific, money is considered as an external motivation not only for children but for everyone; being externally motivated will lead to underestimating the importance of what must be internally important- studies. Under such a circumstance, students will not study for the sake of learning and being educated, they just do so to be praised externally. Indeed, they study hard to get the money, and it does not matter to them how important it is to be educated. It is best to err on the side of caution, meaning that everything should come in moderation not giving money for each single high score they get. For instance, when I was an elementary school, I was sick and tire of studying and going to school early in the morning. My parents, then, encouraged me to study more and for each high score I got, they gave me 5 dollars. After a while, I found out that if I want to earn more, I studied hard for almost all school year and I saved my money. However, it was still a torture for me to go to school let alone study hard for the exams. Years later, after a voyage of discovery within myself to find the roots of my reluctance in being educated, I found out that it was parents' fault not encourage me for something more internal.
The next reason worthy of note is that when students are offered money for something that is their responsibility -studying-, they will become lazy and will have higher expectation from their family. To put it in other words, when students constantly receive monetary reward for their only duty in life, they will not be active, hard worker and they will become irresponsible. To make it even worse, they will expect more from their parents for more important achievements. For instance, my nephew gets a small quota of money as an encouragement for his high grades. Unfortunately, yesterday when he was successful in an Olympiad exam, he asked his parents to buy him a car. It is surely unbelievable! Another issue in his case was that he became such a lazybones, because every time he was asked to apply for a job, he refused it simply because he had a source of money and he did not want to work harder. It is obvious that if his parents cut him down on such monetary reward, he would understand that to gain money, he needs to work hard not just be prepared for something which he is responsible to do.
To recap, taking the above-mentioned reasons and examples into account, I believe that parents should not give their children monetary reward for the high grades they get. That is because not only will they become irresponsible and lazy, but also they will never appreciate the value of education.

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Average: 8.7 (2 votes)
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, however, if, so, still, then, well, while, for instance, in other words, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 15.1003584229 192% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 88.0 43.0788530466 204% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2898.0 1977.66487455 147% => OK
No of words: 617.0 407.700716846 151% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69692058347 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.48103885553 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6678259351 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 282.0 212.727598566 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457050243112 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 913.5 618.680645161 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 51.5548416865 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.0 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.8260869565 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73913043478 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328091188023 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113015623343 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899864209055 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.23327177174 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0718056221128 0.0645574589148 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.28 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 86.8835125448 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.