Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

In general, it stands to reason that every family holds some ideas in high regard due to various reasons. One good example of such ideas is encouraging school-age children by means which are pleasant for them. This is mainly due to the fact that they could take participate in a competition in which approximately it might help them to have a remarkable progress in their scores. Indeed, as they would attempt to achieve the gift, they would be in a competition with themselves, and it is the best kind of the competition in which helps people to do the best. Having said that, due to the emphasis put on this idea, many tend to analyze it and express their opinions in regard to its aspects. One point of controversy is that a number of these students would change into a conditional individual in which they almost ever search for a remarkable benefit for doing a work with that ideal quality which is expected.
One particularly reoccurring idea brought up is that is it fruitful for the school-age children to determine a financial encouragement for them if they attained high scores or not. Many concur with this notion and I count myself as one of them. In the lines below, I will mention some reasons that I think it could have a pleasant effect on the school-age students.
One point worth mentioning here is that some students are not eager at all and it had been indicated that this kind of encouragement had a nice influence on them and they studied for attain those gifts and when the time goes on, they interested in studying and it transferred to a habitation in their mind. Now consider a community in which majority of their young people are educated there, and compare it with a country with a poor level of education level. Indeed, it would have a considerable effect on other aspects of the country too. According to a recent research at the University of New York, the statistics of crimes in countries with higher level of education, are noticeably lower than the countries in which they should not have worthed knowledge.
Another equally important reason is that as the students would not compare themselves with others by this method, it would promote the correct way of competition, the competition of individuals with their own. Actually, it would really prevent people from suffering kinds of disease like depression.
According to the mentioned reasons, bring us to the conclusion that this kind of encouragement would bring good effects into our society and it's a really wise method.

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 342, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'remarkable progress'.
Suggestion: remarkable progress
...pproximately it might help them to have a remarkable progress in their scores. Indeed, as they would ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'recent research'.
Suggestion: recent research
...spects of the country too. According to a recent research at the University of New York, the stat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey should not have worthed knowledge. Another equally important reason is that...
^^
Line 5, column 142, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...bring good effects into our society and its a really wise method.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, if, really, so, i think, in general, kind of, in regard to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2088.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 434.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81105990783 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73069472986 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.7891765906 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.5 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.125 20.6045352989 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.235775210489 0.236089414692 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821281875926 0.076458572812 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0730115891489 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129714724035 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0971513098503 0.0645574589148 150% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.