Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Every day we see lots of advertisements around us. They are the key part of the modern businesses. Many companies and businesses are promoted using the advertising tool. Although, some people believe that advertisements can improve their life quality, others casts doubt on. Considering the both side, personally, I agree with the first viewpoint that says advertisements can play an important positive role in our life. I would provide two reasons for my choice.
First, advertisements can provide good resources of information for customers. This means that, as consumers, people need reliable resources to choose their needed goods or services. Therefore, advertisement introduces completely new products and services to the world and also gives the costumers more choices. For example, I remember that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I needed to go to English class to get prepared for the TOEFL test. That time, it was very difficult for me to find a great English class, because my university’s campus was at outskirt of the city. Also, the transportation system to the city was poor and I did not access to any facilities to look for English institutes by myself. Additionally, I didn’t know anyone around me who taking English class. Therefore, I checked some advertising websites and they headed me to a video sharing website called “Aparat”, where I found a great video about an English institute. Users had left lots of comments about the institutes and particularly about one of the teachers there. So, trusting them I registered online in his class. Afterward, I participated physically in his class and my English got improved. As you can see, the advertisements have really positive effects on people’s choice.
Second, advertisement creates jobs. To clarify it, advertisements directly and indirectly can create jobs. At first place, the advertising company as a business needs to employ some people for different careers such as managers, photographers, program developers and workers. Also, advertising, a business will be promoted. Consequently, the number of its customers will be increased. Afterward the business probably will need to hire more people. For example, I vividly remember an advertisement on TV which was about a pot. The program was broadcasting from a luxury kitchen hosting by a chief. The chief was cooking all the various recipes in the pots. Fortunately, I heard that the company manufacturing the pots could hire around 1000 people and sold around 1 million dollars just in a short time! Therefore, I should emphasize again that advertisement is very beneficial for people.
To sum, I believe in the modern society we require advertisement tool. It’s beneficial for introducing products and services and also providing choices for the potential customers. Besides, it is a positive activity that creates more jobs and promotes businesses. At the end, I suggest that targeted advertisements will decrease some probable crisis and every one would be aware of the benefits of the service.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 369, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...emember that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I...
^
Line 2, column 376, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Student
... that some years ago, when I was a MSc. student in University of Zanjan, I needed to go...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1322, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sitive effects on people's choice. Second, advertisement creates jobs. To c...
^^^
Line 4, column 417, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e aware of the benefits of the service.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, if, look, really, second, so, therefore, for example, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 10.4613686534 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 5.04856512141 297% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 15.0 7.30242825607 205% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 12.0772626932 108% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 22.412803532 219% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 30.3222958057 165% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 5.01324503311 140% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2607.0 1373.03311258 190% => OK
No of words: 491.0 270.72406181 181% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.30957230143 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.04702891845 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20252186167 2.5805825403 124% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 145.348785872 189% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558044806517 0.540411800872 103% => OK
syllable_count: 826.2 419.366225166 197% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 3.25607064018 522% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.25165562914 320% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 2.5761589404 194% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 13.0662251656 245% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 15.0 21.2450331126 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.9557786764 49.2860985944 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.46875 110.228320801 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.34375 21.698381199 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03125 7.06452816374 43% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 4.33554083885 392% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.27373068433 304% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224872072221 0.272083759551 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538857009705 0.0996497079465 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0551395859887 0.0662205650399 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14480774059 0.162205337803 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660297413973 0.0443174109184 149% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 13.3589403974 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 53.8541721854 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.0289183223 93% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.93 12.2367328918 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 63.6247240618 200% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.7273730684 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.498013245 76% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.