Some people think that government should not give financial support to creative artists such as painters, writers and musicians, let them support themselves.
It goes without saying that in this progressive world art and music are one of the important aspects of our lives. There has been a controversial debate among people as to whether artists should be financially supported by governments. From my perspective, advocating people who are profession in art and music is necessary, and two reasons to support my view are presented as follows.
To begin with, supporting artists, governments are able to make progress in their countries. It is not a secret to anyone that having others' support, people will feel relief and they can reach their goals easily since they are sure that other care about them and their work, so individuals' support acts as a motives for artists which means they will continue working and creating amazing products. People all over the world respect arts and music and they are interested in being familiar with different culture in order to know more about these kind of issues, thus when government, which is the most powerful and important parts of a society, advocate artists, artists will boost the quality of their work and try to make novel products; thereby, arts and music of the country will boost. Tourists are, therefore, more likely to such a country to acquire knowledge and enjoy the journey. Politicians can take the advantage of national travelers to make an affluent society in which people can escape from the clutches of poverty and enjoy the living because of economic prosperity. As you can see, monetary supporting of artists will lead society to a lot of progress because of its economic.
Furthermore, financially supporting artists will benefits people looking for a sign to pursue art as their dreams. It is crystal clear that people specially youth and juveniles are afraid of entering in arts' area due to the fact some people do not appreciate it and there is not a good income, but when they witness that governments are supporting these occupations, they will start following their dreams, which make them more satisfied and happy, as well. To put it in more vivid picture, my younger sister, who had depression, is interested in painting; fortunately, my sister got my father's support and because of that she could track her desires that have made her happier. No longer is she depressed. Had my father not advocated her, she would not cure her depression.
In sum, not only will people living in such society can take the advantage of economic prosperity, they also will have an opportunities to follow their dreams in art.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 167, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
...een a controversial debate among people as to whether artists should be financially supported...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 276, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
... From my perspective, advocating people who are profession in art and music is necessar...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 306, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a motif', 'a motive' or simply 'motives'?
Suggestion: a motif; a motive; motives
...ir work, so individuals support acts as a motives for artists which means they will conti...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 540, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...ent culture in order to know more about these kind of issues, thus when government, which ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 50, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'benefit'
Suggestion: benefit
...re, financially supporting artists will benefits people looking for a sign to pursue art...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 120, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'an opportunity' or simply 'opportunities'?
Suggestion: an opportunity; opportunities
...conomic prosperity, they also will have an opportunities to follow their dreams in art.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, look, so, therefore, thus, well, as to, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2105.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 426.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94131455399 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64949444286 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530516431925 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 101.617058935 48.9658058833 208% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 140.333333333 100.406767564 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.202565837536 0.236089414692 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0781751426544 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0704652885559 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125908534496 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0459389706454 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 11.7677419355 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.