ohn Dewey once commented, “Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.” Since the dawn of industrialization, machines have largely replaced humans by accomplishing many tasks that could be merely done manually in the past. Therefore, coupled with the advent of technology and globalization, much more emphasis has been placed on how human beings can do or what skills humans need to acquire in order not to be entirely supplanted by technology and machines. It is many educators’ as well as my belief that young children should do some part-time job or volunteer in a community so that they could accumulate work experience to help prepare themselves for the real-world work environment.
To begin with, young people gaining some work experience allows them to learn work skills that can never be acquired at school. To be more specific, when at school, young people are confined to the academic knowledge in textbooks. They might be able to regurgitate and recite biology details or historical facts from textbooks very fluently and smoothly. However, when they enter workforce, they do not know how to mingle with their colleagues, what to wear to an interview, or how to assume responsibilities when mistakes arise. On the other hand, if young people do some part-time jobs at cafeteria or some volunteer work at the child-care center, they would learn how to to deal with unreasonable customers or how to interact with bossy supervisors.
Furthermore, the youth can benefit a great deal from accumulating work experience so that they can learn how to be more sympathetic and empathetic. That is, since young people are in the developmental phase of egocentrism, volunteering in a community or taking a part time job gives them a window of opportunity to detach themselves from the center and care more for other people. When I was in the eleventh grade, I tended to act in a pretty condescending way simply because I always fared well at school. Therefore, I always thought of myself as the smartest and the most intelligent person in the world. I rarely cared a lot about those who were uneducated or who weren’t very bright. However, one time, I had this opportunity to volunteer at a primary school in Africa, where may education a;resources were deprived. There, students lacked stationery or their used textbooks had been so rusty that they might fall apart any time soon. Witnessing this, I had this epiphany that I shouldn’t have taken everything for granted, including my education. There were millions of people in the world who were not lucky enough to relish the fruit of education. After this volunteering experience, I have become more humble, thinking less of me. I now even go to a local literacy center every day where I would spend two hours tutoring some young children how to read or how to write because I deeply believe that if I can contribute what I have to them, they will have a better chance to shine in the world.
Irrefutably, some dissidents may disavow my arguments by claiming that learning to play the sport or a musical instrument can be more fruitful for young people’s development since playing the sport allows young people to stay mentally and physically fit. With stronger and sturdier mentality and physiques, they can better arm themselves to tackle the mounting pressure in their lives. If young people learn to play a musical instrument, such as harpsichord or cello, they can immerse themselves in the cadence of music, and most importantly, they can feel relaxed. Learning how to play musical instruments serves as an avenue for young people to release their pent-up pressure. Granted, learning how to play the sport and musical instrument can confer some advantages on young people; however, have these people forgotten that nowadays, technology has been able to produce music or create virtual sports games, such as Wii or Play Station for humans. In other words, technology can fulfill those demands for human beings. Young people need not know how to play a musical instrument in order to listen to some melodious songs or how to move around in order to pass the ball to their teammates. However, if young people do not accumulate necessary work experience to obtain some soft skills, such as communication or interpersonal relation, they may find themselves unemployable after they leave school. Therefore, I do believe that if young children can learn how to survive in the real-world workforce, they can better stay competitive, and accumulating work experience by doing some part-time job or volunteering in a community can definitely help them achieve that.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ohn
ohn Dewey once commented, 'Education i...
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Line 2, column 79, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to work'
Suggestion: to work
...me work experience allows them to learn work skills that can never be acquired at sc...
^^^^
Line 2, column 671, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...child-care center, they would learn how to to deal with unreasonable customers or how...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 263, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...volunteering in a community or taking a part time job gives them a window of opportunity ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 799, Rule ID: THE_PUNCT[1]
Message: Did you forget something after 'a'?
...y school in Africa, where may education a;resources were deprived. There, students...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, such as, as well as, in other words, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 9.8082437276 275% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 30.0 13.8261648746 217% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 100.0 52.1666666667 192% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 8.0752688172 297% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3901.0 1977.66487455 197% => OK
No of words: 770.0 407.700716846 189% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06623376623 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.26771998601 4.48103885553 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96967327367 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 352.0 212.727598566 165% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457142857143 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1227.6 618.680645161 198% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 3.51792114695 284% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.4057906352 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.321428571 100.406767564 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5 20.6045352989 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.380456967796 0.236089414692 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10636093475 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0896883300399 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230023815899 0.150856017488 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0923010933872 0.0645574589148 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 11.7677419355 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 176.0 86.8835125448 203% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 21.0 10.002688172 210% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.