Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Do you agree or disagree?
Advertising is a common way to popularize items to people. Nowadays, commercials aimed at children appear more and more often. In my opinion, I totally agree that advertisements toward young children should be banned because of mental impacts and physical influences.
First and foremost, advertisements about children negatively influence young children mental health. When children see advertisements, they will have a desire to own the items in the commercial. Children want to own them because commercials only show the highlights of the items and hide their flaws. Unfortunately, children cannot recognise these defects. In other words, they are not able to distinguish right from wrong, which makes children have ethical problems. Specifically, if any advertisements use unsuitable words for children, they may not relize that they should not copy these languages. Moreover, some children may feel shy when they watch advertisements. Since commercial always flattering their products, kids might see that people or items in the ads are better than themselves. For example, in milk commercials, the actor must be tall and strong to show to the audiences the effect of the products. This makes children feel inferior and have low self-esteem. Indeed, commercial can affect kids mental health because of their negative effect on children morality and shyness.
Secondly, children’s physical condition will be seriously affected by advertisements. Since commercials directed to children are funny and attractive, kids will have fun watching them. As a result, they will spend more time watching television and gradually harm their eyes. In addition, since advertisements convey products’ effectiveness but the producers do not pay attention to impacts on viewers, children can imitate misdeed in the commercials. For instance, in McDonald’s advertisements, the actors eat junk foods in a hurry in order to show that the foods are deliciuos. However, children might copy and suffer from stomach and intestinal diseases. Additionally, the products in the commercials are not always good for health. For example, when children see advertisements about fried chicken or other oily food, kids might want to try the foods because of its looks delicious. Consequently, children will get overweight since they eat too much junk food. By and large, commercials directed to kids harm their physical condition because of their effect on children’s eyes, imitation, as well as overweight.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that advertisements affect not only mental health but also physical condition. Children suffer from shame and morality affected. Also, commercials not only make children imitate misdoing but also harm their eyes and bodies.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1003, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'kid'.
Suggestion: kid
.... By and large, commercials directed to kids harm their physical condition because o...
^^^^
Line 7, column 257, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng but also harm their eyes and bodies.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, well, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, as well as, by and large, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 417.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.6067146283 4.8611393121 115% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10566095046 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510791366906 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 685.8 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.3640980447 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.5925925926 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4444444444 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.03703703704 5.45110844103 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 3.85842293907 389% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197468276332 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595667371513 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0552913252102 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139344764567 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0598206811199 0.0645574589148 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.96 10.9000537634 137% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.