TOPIC # 51 Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from?

Success is a very important part of our lives. In order to build up our future, we have to be a successful person to face the community as well as the sociaty. Some people would agree that success in life comes from taking risks or chances since some wealthy people take a chance or luck and they success in their business. Others would disagree. In my view, success results from careful planning for two imperative reasons.

To begin with, planning makes the person who can build up step by step to pass and success. Through careful plannnig, a person will understand what are consequenses and steps have to take in order to pass the stage of his life. Take myself as an example, when I graduated from high school, I had decided to attend pharmacy school so I had to know about pharmacy feiled to prepare for this difficult branch. In fact, I asked my teacher to help me and to explain what is the major that fits me and he was very helpful since he asserts that I can be a bright pharmacist because he knew that I like chemistry lab. My teacher and my parents were explained me how pharmacy hard task so I persuaded to prepare and plan before the last decision. Finaly, I realized that pharmacy is complex science but I decided to attend this college. After a while, I passed pharmacy school with good scores because I planned and evaluated everthing before attending it. This experience taught me that students have to plan so they will success in their study.

Hence, In addition to importance to planning above, people will develop well in planning because they know that success comes. When you plan in the firse step, you will find the next step easier than first one so you will progress and develop. For instance, after I succeeded in pharmacy school, I motivated to complete my higher education and be a professor in clinical pharmacology. Actually, after my first decision when i attended to pharmacy school, I encouraged to be an active member in pharmacy field. So after planning, I worked in master degree of pharmacology and I successed and my parents were proud me because after long time, I become a successful pharmacist and professor. all these definitely came from careull planning. As we can clearly see, if i took risk and chance in my study, I wouldn't success and be a pharmacist.

By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, I concur that success comes from planning. We should plan to be a successful member in the world and success is worthwhile to everyone in the earth since it reflects your personality.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Sentence: Some people would agree that success in life comes from taking risks or chances since some wealthy people take a chance or luck and they success in their business.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and success

to pass and success
to pass and succeed

what are consequenses and steps have to take
what are consequenses and steps which have to take

how pharmacy hard task
how hard pharmacy is

pharmacy is complex science
pharmacy is a complex science

so they will success in their study.
so they will succeed in their study.

and my parents were proud me
and my parents were proud of me

I wouldn't success and be a pharmacist.
I wouldn't succeed and be a pharmacist.

Sentence: In order to build up our future, we have to be a successful person to face the community as well as the sociaty.
Error: sociaty Suggestion: society

Sentence: Through careful plannnig, a person will understand what are consequenses and steps have to take in order to pass the stage of his life.
Error: consequenses Suggestion: consequences
Error: plannnig Suggestion: planning

Sentence: Take myself as an example, when I graduated from high school, I had decided to attend pharmacy school so I had to know about pharmacy feiled to prepare for this difficult branch.
Error: feiled Suggestion: failed

Sentence: After a while, I passed pharmacy school with good scores because I planned and evaluated everthing before attending it.
Error: everthing Suggestion: everything

Sentence: When you plan in the firse step, you will find the next step easier than first one so you will progress and develop.
Error: firse Suggestion: fire

Sentence: So after planning, I worked in master degree of pharmacology and I successed and my parents were proud me because after long time, I become a successful pharmacist and professor. all these definitely came from careull planning.
Error: successed Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: careull Suggestion: careful

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2046 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.527 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.501 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.606 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5