Topic (TPO 21)-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more in more important than studying hard.
Some people are amenable to the idea that if you want to be a successful person in your job, you need to learn the ability to have good connections with other people. On the other hand, there are people who hold the view that you must be a good student in your school and study hard to be a successful person in your future job. This subject has always brought about heated debates. In my opinion, to have a successful career it is necessary to have the ability to build a good connection with other people. To support this, there are several reasons, two of which are going to be aptly explained in what follows.
The first point to bear in mind is that creating networks with other people and expanding it, especially with your colleagues, can lead to more and better job opportunities. For instance, they can introduce you to better and bigger companies in comparison with the current company that you work for. Thus, you may have better job opportunities and improve your resume for the future. Also, you may find someone to start your own business with him/her. The best example that comes to my mind is my uncle. While he was working in a manufacturing company 25 years ago, he got to know one of his colleagues and they became great friends and this friendship led to partnership and they start running their own company and be their own bosses instead of working for others.
Another noteworthy reason in my opinion is that while good relationships with other people exist, you have the opportunity to learn more about success in the workplace. Being a successful person is not just limited to how great you are in your major. There are plenty of things you need to know about while you are working. For example, you need to learn how to interact and behave towards your colleagues who have different types of characteristics, especially in a multi-national company. Employees of these companies are usually from different parts of the world and they have grown up by different values, cultures, and traditions. In this regard, you will not be aware of these values until you have some connections with them. When you get to know them, you will understand their values and respect them. So they will not think you disrespect them and they become closer to you than the past which is a great thing.
To wrap it up, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that to become a successful in our job career, you need the ability of making and expanding network with other people , which is much more important than being a good student during school. Nowadays, communicational abilities are counted as one of the abilities with utmost importance in work environments, and people need to know how to deal with people in order to have a great relationship with them because one day, these connections will work for you.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 398, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ght about heated debates. In my opinion, to have a successful career it is necess...
^^
Line 4, column 190, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... and expanding network with other people , which is much more important than being...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, so, thus, while, for example, for instance, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 52.1666666667 151% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2342.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70281124498 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63818655007 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453815261044 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 721.8 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.1784920634 48.9658058833 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.523809524 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7142857143 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254183097665 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0846914812601 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638349470234 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179363626263 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0493298793505 0.0645574589148 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.28 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.5 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.