When it comes to the question of whether universities should invest in social activities, people tend to develop various viewpoints. Some people seem to disagree with this notion because they think that social activities are not as important as academic ones, whereas others are more inclined to the idea that both of these activities should receive the same amount of supporting money. Personally, I found myself in the same place as the latter ones for the following reasons.
To begin with, social activities help students in self perfection. Like academic knowledge, social skills also help people in developing their careers but in a different way. For example, my friend Tra used to the leader of a volunteer club at her university, which offered her a chance to practice her leadership skill. Therefore, although she is not an exceptionally excellent coder, Tra is still her employer’s favorite staff member. This is because she can display herself as a brilliant leader in the company. What can be seen from this example is that social skills may not give my friend an opportunity to work well as a coder but makes her an excellent manager. In conclusion, social skills are as important as academic knowledge, so universities should give these activities the same amount of supporting money.
Furthermore, there is also another reason in terms of personal enjoyment. At university, academic classes are often boring for students, and they find it easy to be stressed if they have to study too much. As a result, the universities will need to organize some social clubs for students to relax. For example, Vietnamese universities were very strict on academic classes. Before 1900s, there were no social activities; students came to school just for studying. Back then, a lot of students were stressed and they commited suicide. To solve this issue, Vietnamese’s education decided to carry out a reform and put a stronger focus on social activities , Thanks to this great transformation, the number of students who commited suicide decreased by 90%; they seemed to be more comfortable with classes. In fact, it is undeniable that these activities really help them relieve their stress after a hard working day. In conclusion, to make students feel comfortable with their study schedule, the fund for activities should not be small.
Ultimately, I believe that to bring out more benefits for student, universities should invest in social activities. This will help them perfect themself by sharpen their social skills and allow them to study more efficiently. In fact, parents should also encourage their children joining clubs and after-class-activities to be more confident in society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 19, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
When it comes to the question of whether universities should invest in social ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 34, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
When it comes to the question of whether universities should invest in so...
^^
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a different way" with adverb for "different"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... people in developing their careers but in a different way. For example, my friend Tra used to the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 601, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat social skills may not give my friend an opportunity to work well as a coder b...
^^
Line 5, column 660, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ut a stronger focus on social activities , Thanks to this great transformation, th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, may, really, so, still, then, therefore, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 435.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2367816092 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98306247484 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519540229885 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 704.7 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8534967381 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.545454545 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7727272727 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.68181818182 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16607882724 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0521936926375 0.076458572812 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478411718368 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114713517513 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0374375712202 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.