TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

I disagree with the statement which is the people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do. The reason why I do not agree is it depends on country and culture. I would compare working style between Japan and Western country for holding my opinion.

In western country such as America, people work really efficiently to make sure that their work-life balance is good. For example, there are so many restaurants and cafes organizing “happy hour” which is for workers. They have time for hanging out with coworkers after work because the company let them go home on time. In fact, even if they do not get done with their project, many companies force them to leave because the company do not want to pay for overwork. Thus, I do not think that is good for company.

The other example is about birth rate in both countries. For example, average of Japanese lady’s marriage age is getting high year by year because they work so hard to support their life. There is a common issue. If the lady works really hard and get married at 40 years old, she does not prefer to have own child because she cares her health or career. So, Japanese birth rate is shrinking so Japanese population is versa triangle. Due to this problem, the company give employee the holidays are called “refreshment holidays”. The company try to make them feel satisfied with their life and lead them to have own time not only working.

All of considered, I do not think that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment more than things they have. It depends on background such as culture, job and region and people should care about work-life balance more.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, really, so, thus, for example, in fact, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1417.0 1977.66487455 72% => OK
No of words: 297.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77104377104 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47169238116 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.569023569024 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 437.4 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.963444627 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.3529411765 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4705882353 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.45110844103 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305501271374 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11312199288 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.18338029537 0.0737576698707 249% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.253440523364 0.150856017488 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.178694409715 0.0645574589148 277% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.3 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 86.8835125448 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.