TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

How many of us, who are parent, has to deal with a tantrum of our children disappointed because we have to reject his or her demand for a new toy? Where is this desire coming from? Yes, television advertising, most frequently. Thus, I strongly agree with the statement proposed above that states television advertising direct to young children should not be allowed. The reason is simple, advertising in young children provokes a strong desire of products that can not being satisfied by parents, provoking the disappointment and unsatisfaction of both, children and parents.

First of all, the brain of a child is far from being mature at the age of two to five years old. Consequently, the information received from advertising and propaganda is not processed in the correct way. Moreover, at that short age many kids assume that the exaggeration in the message, usually present in advertising, is accurate and actually real. For example, a company that wants to remark that is selling a biggest candy in the market can show the product as big as a person. An adult would understand that it is not true, but an exaggeration, but not a child.

Additionally, the immature mind of a child can distort his or her desire in an addiction. To illustrate this point, let's review the last campaigns of Pokemon products. The company is the owner of a brand that constantly is updating characters and games, to keep the consumption of the products in a high level. Furthermore, if it is difficult, even for some adult to resist the temptation of buying more Pokemon's products and games, much more would be for a little child. For this reason, I strongly suggest not to expose young children to advertising.

Finally, I think it is important for parents to understand who are behind the advertising. Usually, companies whose goal is increase their incomes. That is the real motive behind of a creative idea of an advertising, and not to take care of the children target of the massage. Thus, is not to blame who promote a brand, but who control these companies and regulate the advertising whose targets are children. In fact, I deeply believe that while this controls and regulations are not implemented, parents should not allow children to be exposed to advertising.

In conclusion, in review of all the reasons exposed above, I strongly sustain that television advertising direct toward young children should not be allowed. In fact, parent should also demand the government to implement stronger regulations regarding this issue.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 17, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
How many of us, who are parent, has to deal with a tantrum of o...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 412, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...ny that wants to remark that is selling a biggest candy in the market can show th...
^
Line 7, column 447, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...n. In fact, I deeply believe that while this controls and regulations are not implem...
^^^^
Line 9, column 159, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d young children should not be allowed. In fact, parent should also demand the gov...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, finally, first, furthermore, if, moreover, regarding, so, thus, while, as to, for example, i think, in conclusion, in fact, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2114.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99763593381 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92955784788 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505910165485 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5972672736 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0909090909 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2272727273 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.77272727273 5.45110844103 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.2130722875 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0598712052184 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0884788365069 0.0737576698707 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12787897565 0.150856017488 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0861259562863 0.0645574589148 133% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.09 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.