TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

We are living in a complex and very fast developing world, people including young children should be trained to know many skills in order to be able to adapt to this life and to make their lives more and more thriving. Therefore, the question whether children should learn how to manage their own money is debatable. Some people think that it is good idea to teach their children to know how to use money as soon as possible. Some others would not agree with this. I my opinion, I totally support the statement above for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, managing money is a skill, therefore, children should be learned this ability as soon as possible. We all know that money plays a significant role in our lives. Generally speaking, we cannot live without money. Meanwhile, all people experience that earning money is not easy in every era. Actually, to earn money is hard but, to manage money is more difficult. If people do not know how to use money, they will be in trouble. Understanding these things, parents should spend time to educate their children how to manage their own money. It is really a meaningful skill, because this capacity will follow and help them in their future. I remember clearly when I was ten years old, my mother have taught me how to save money. She said that "I need to have a small book to write down how much money I spend in a certain time in order to balance how much money I earn and how much money I spend". I follow her advice and through my life I have experienced that it is a very wonderful lesson to me.
Secondly, by teaching children how to manage money, parents are teaching them comprehend the value of money. When children understand the meaning of money, they will not spend their money in vain. My own experience is a compelling example of this case. When first entered the university, my father gave me some money and told me that "I need to know how to distinguish what I need to buy and what I just want to buy". Living in the university, some time I would like to follow my friends to go out and go shopping or do many other things, such as participate in some clubs to enjoy my college life. But, I always remember what my father has taught me and I am pretty good at managing money.
In conclusion, people have different ideas about the question whether children should learn how to manage their own money. In my point of view, for two reasons, which I have just mentioned above, I strongly believe that it is very good to teach children how to manage money when they are at young age.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 231, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...ives more and more thriving. Therefore, the question whether children should learn how to manage the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 51, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...sion, people have different ideas about the question whether children should learn how to manage the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2133.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 475.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.49052631579 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41068719298 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435789473684 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 671.4 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9942629273 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.875 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7916666667 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58333333333 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237443469656 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0839800110432 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525106615778 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174269087325 0.150856017488 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0366887236243 0.0645574589148 57% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.76 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.74 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.