TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Responsibility is known as a vital factor in the success of people in their adulthood. Among all type of responsibility in life, financial responsibility has always been by far the most important and also the primary one. In my opinion, money management in childhood is an effective practice that can help people to become financially responsible adults.
First, It is psychologically proven that children learn most of his essential skills in early ages. As a result, the training and behavior of adults are highly influenced by what they learned and experienced in childhood. Thus why should not they learn to manage their own money at young ages? In my experience, my friends who suffer some personal economic issues and are not able to cope with them are those did not supposed to manage their money on their own when we attended high school.

Second, mistakes in childhood are less dangerous than adulthood, therefore children have a suitable opportunity to learn and make mistake with at least negative effects. For instance, imagine an accountant who has taken his/her first professional job in a business company after graduation. S/he also supposed to manage his/her personal income for a wide range of demands at the home. What will happen if this person is not capable to manage this vast amount of money and his/her job? In contrast, a child in preschool or high school only have to manage his/her own money which is not too much. Thus, any mistake about his/her money not only does not jeopardize his economic status but also leads to a constructive experience for him/her thanks to the support of parents.

In conclusion, unlike some people, who may be the advocates of leering responsibility in adulthood, it is my deep conviction that childhood is a golden age to learn the necessary skills of adulthood like financial responsibility.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 222, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...y learned and experienced in childhood. Thus why should not they learn to manage the...
^^^^
Line 2, column 417, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'suppose'
Suggestion: suppose
...ble to cope with them are those did not supposed to manage their money on their own when...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 491, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...their own when we attended high school. Second, mistakes in childhood are less d...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, therefore, thus, at least, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1550.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 308.0 407.700716846 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03246753247 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18926351222 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89872340912 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.584415584416 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 495.9 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.0210988375 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.714285714 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.57142857143 5.45110844103 176% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227598942623 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0851898707511 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0726832708724 0.0737576698707 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137302657325 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0550497239655 0.0645574589148 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.