TPO 15 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement In order to become financially responsible adults children should learn to manage their own money at young age Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

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TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

it goes without saying that in such a sophisticated world in which the value of people is highly depended on the amount of money they have, so important is money that can change one's life forever. people choose the way they treat to other people based on how wealthy they are and most of the connections between people are built on financial basis. In this regard, there is a long-standing discussion among academicians about whether children should learn to manage their own money at young ages in order to become financially responsible adults or not. Some people are the leading proponents of the claim that it is not necessary. However, I firmly believe that it is essential for children to learn it at young ages. The rationale behind this will be elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs by 2 fundamental reasons.

The first reason which juts of mind is that in case of failure in managing their money, children don’t lose something significant. As children have less money and their concern is not as important as adults, their loss cannot be a big trouble. On the other hand, should an adult encounter a failure in his financial issues, the loss might be significant and huge for his or her life. An example can shed light on this claim; take an 8-year old boy for instance and let us assume that he hasn’t spent his money for a long time to buy a play station for himself. having gone to buy the play station, he is confused with the variety of different models. he bought a model that is not suitable for their television and he wasted his money. he did not lose a lot of money but instead, he learnt that he has to ask someone who is into the field before buying something and never waste money easily.

In approaching this issue, apart from the point I mentioned above, another equally important reason that should be scrutinized is that they become familiar with concept of accounting and mathematics. children at young ages are eager to learn and not only does learning how to manage their financial issues give them a sense of independency, but also help them to become familiar with the concepts of mathematic and accounting which can help them in a plethora of fields. The noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics revealed by the Psychology Center of the University of Tehran, illustrates that over 70 percent of students who learnt how to manage money in their childhood, get high scores in mathematic. that vividly shows the importance of learning about the basis of managing money in childhood.

In summary, taking all the aforementioned ideas into consideration, one can safely conclude that learning how to manage money in childhood is not only good, but also vital for their adult responsibilities.

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Average: 8.5 (2 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
it goes without saying that in such a soph...
^^
Line 1, column 179, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
..., so important is money that can change ones life forever. people choose the way the...
^^^^
Line 1, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...oney that can change ones life forever. people choose the way they treat to other peop...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Having
...time to buy a play station for himself. having gone to buy the play station, he is con...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 662, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...d with the variety of different models. he bought a model that is not suitable for...
^^
Line 3, column 747, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...eir television and he wasted his money. he did not lose a lot of money but instead...
^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Children
... concept of accounting and mathematics. children at young ages are eager to learn and no...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 714, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...ildhood, get high scores in mathematic. that vividly shows the importance of learnin...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, apart from, as to, for instance, in summary, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2279.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 469.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8592750533 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76116192324 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520255863539 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 710.1 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 57.5341015356 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.611111111 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0555555556 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38888888889 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256714067791 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810591035452 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0738652811686 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148458794611 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0475858814178 0.0645574589148 74% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 86.8835125448 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.