TPO-21- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A controversial debate which is often raised in a society is that whether successful carrier depends on a studying well in school or making good connections with the people. Some groups of people hold a view that studying hard in school helps to creative innovative ideas and solutions. However, other people may take an opposite view and believe that establishing good relations with people around you hikes your chances to get better future. From my vantage point, I believe that latter view generally carries more weight. In what follows, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons.

The first exquisite point to be Mentioned here is that getting along well with the people around you not only makes working environment better, but it also helps to get promotion at the job. In fact, a person who communicates eloquently and persuades other people easily is often seen as desired candidate for any job such as marketing or any business. Moreover, if you will look at the credential of the employees, it will be more or less the same. However, the employee who connects well with others is the one who achieves higher success. A vivid example that can shed light on this subject is my brother's achievement at his job. He has very good relations with his teammates and even higher authorities. Recently, he was given a trip to australia to deal with international company for new software development which is itself a big success. However, other employees which are higher in seniority in his team never got this opportunity even if they are more experienced and did very well in the school. Therefore, it is very well clear that social abilities outweighs working hard on grades in one or many ways.

In approaching this issue, apart from what mentioned above, there is another subtle point which must be borne in the mind. The ability to persuade others often helps to build better reputation of your workplace. Eventually, you may get credit for your social abilities. My personal experience is compelling example of this. I work at medical clinic and all day with deal with patients who need moral, emotional support , not just the treatment for physical cause. Recently, me and my co-worker got pay raise because my manager told me that the production has been increased by 5% in last eight months because of our communicating skills. Moreover, dealing with uncooperative patients is not what you learn in any school, it comes up when you bear in your mind that you have to work patiently to build good bonding with others.

To wrap it up, all the contemplating aforementioned reasons, one will soon realize that building strong bonding with other people is of paramount importance because earns you promotion and escalates reputation of your work place. In addition, it makes you stand out of crowd of the employees who bears similar credentials as you.

Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding people'?
Suggestion: the surrounding people
...ed here is that getting along well with the people around you not only makes working environment bett...
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tients who need moral, emotional support , not just the treatment for physical cau...
Line 9, column 213, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
...ou promotion and escalates reputation of your work place. In addition, it makes y...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, therefore, well, apart from, in addition, in fact, such as, more or less

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2394.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 484.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94628099174 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70411879841 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 263.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543388429752 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 734.4 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.3138177861 48.9658058833 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.086956522 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0434782609 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5652173913 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.2504976889 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0694067689866 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.037882876402 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154323632228 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0320865622774 0.0645574589148 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 86.8835125448 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.