I totally do not agree with that the children's education task is more difficult in that they spend excessive time on cell phones, online games and social networking Web sites. As my concern, teaching children is more difficult while the reasons mentioned were not convincing in that the development of the society never stops, there are different kinds of entertainments for every young generaion , also the competitions becomes more violent due to the rapid changing world. I will address my views with three points.
To begin with, the entertainments is not the excuse of the toughness in teaching children. From my grandfather to me, all of our ways of palying are obviously distinct. My grandfather born in the war time, thus the memory of his childhood was just the hiding from the enemies in that they were inocent residetns in the villiage, a wood stick to play with would have brought lots of fun to him for a long while. My father, he rasied pigeons for fun while it is impossible for me to feed these birds in the city. For me, I started to play video games when I was in primary schools. While all of the entertainments was not the reasons for the difficluty in teachin children. Children in different time could be attracted by various playing things in their times. When discussing with the cell phones , online games or social networking Web sties, they happen to be the symbol of children's entertainments now.
In additon, the more violent competion is one of the main reasons for the difficulty in cultivating children. As there are great changes in this society, almost evething has developed in their own way with an unimaginable speed, thus the children have to adapt to the society in the future, the more difficult course in a method for them when they are in a the new era with information explosion at the same time. When I read my cousin's math book of eight grades last year, I was shocked that they began to learn some basic theory of Calculation that I learned in my university. Times are changing, so does the pace of learning. If the child does not want to be striken out, he/she has to study harder.
Finally, we should not consider the new technology would be harmful to the new generation. Once the online games was seriously criticized in that they attracted many children to play who almost forgot the time of palying. Thus the online game was called electronic opium. However, some young people earn money from playing online games. As for me , I do not want to encourage the children to play games for money in that I do appriciate the imporatnce of studying. If new technology is used in a proper way, they would help children in many ways. The cell phones with dictionaries would be the tools for studying foreign language, the online games would relax the children, also new social tools like social Web sites would let the children make more friends.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...entertainments for every young generaion , also the competitions becomes more viol...
^^
Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...es when I was in primary schools. While all of the entertainments was not the reasons for ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 797, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...es. When discussing with the cell phones , online games or social networking Web s...
^^
Line 5, column 356, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: a; the
...e in a method for them when they are in a the new era with information explosion at t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 92, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...would be harmful to the new generation. Once the online games was seriously criticiz...
^^^^
Line 7, column 223, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... who almost forgot the time of palying. Thus the online game was called electronic o...
^^^^
Line 7, column 347, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ney from playing online games. As for me , I do not want to encourage the children...
^^
Line 7, column 492, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... of studying. If new technology is used in a proper way, they would help children in many ways....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, so, thus, while, as for, as to, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2390.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 506.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7233201581 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61933578297 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490118577075 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 729.9 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.8446486626 48.9658058833 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.913043478 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.17391304348 5.45110844103 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.265678907368 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795367585254 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0933249099029 0.0737576698707 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178427143017 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0619667205408 0.0645574589148 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 58.1214874552 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.