TPO-34 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.Us

Nowadays children are born into a society that is intertwined with speed. Education comprises not only of schooling, graduation but also the betterment of society. Children have embraced the technology, but this has come at a price. They lack the maturity that required to take any society forward. In my view, children are lacking the societal experience as well as many other vital things due to the unintended consequences that technology has brought with its rise. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will elaborate on in the following paragraphs.

First of all, children of the 21st century have become very demanding that their counterparts of previous generations. Dawn of super fast electronic devices has been pivotal to this culture. Before the rise of technological boom, children used to pass the time by reading books. Reading books at a proper pace will increase one's understanding of the society and improves imagination. But unfortunately, in today's generation, children have been addicted to smart phones and no one wants to spend time reading the whole book. Children have been habituated in consulting online tools that enables them to read many books in a short span of time. Consequently, children glean more information with less knowledge. Although it is evident that this generation of children are born more smarter than those of previous generations, but these children are misusing this ability. My personal experience is an personal example of this. A friend of mine had given birth to a child 6 years ago. The child has been smarter than any of us, nonetheless, he has been stubborn in listening to people' instructions. He rather has been using internet to glean the information. The main drawback of this trend is their inability to convert information to wisdom.

Secondly, maturity level of children has been falling drastically every decade. With the deluge of smart phone, children of this generation have been allocating more time to smart phones than conversing with the people. Sadly, children right the childhood are becoming more polarized in their view of society because of the extreme culture endorsed by the applications. Though children are born smarter, nonetheless, they have been influenced a lot by an extremist view of today's smart phone culture. In reality, they are failing in accumulating a more mature perspective. In short, they are disabled to observe both sides of a coin.

In conclusion, schooling has become a lot easy for contemporary kids. With tools that work in collaboration with the internet, achieving good grades has become easier than ever. Although, there has been an increase in literacy, but the children have been failing in imbibing the quality of that education. If this trend continues, which is very likely, tomorrows future is in wrong hands that eventually becomes more extremist than ever.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ng books at a proper pace will increase ones understanding of the society and improv...
^^^^
Line 3, column 776, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'smarter' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: smarter
...at this generation of children are born more smarter than those of previous generations, but...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 897, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...this ability. My personal experience is an personal example of this. A friend of m...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...led to observe both sides of a coin. In conclusion, schooling has become a lot ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, well, i feel, in conclusion, in short, as well as, first of all, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18454935622 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87144029562 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525751072961 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 757.8 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.3750709762 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.3103448276 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0689655172 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.03448275862 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172140621737 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0460472912262 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0402164432246 0.0737576698707 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111608591683 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0405833848717 0.0645574589148 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 86.8835125448 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.