TPO-35 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Everybody knows that, all the people in the world should have privacy, but the famous people, like as athletic people, should use to journalists are always looking for them and they are aware of every details of their life. In my opinion, famous life’s like as living on the glassy house, they couldn’t do something without no one’s knows. But it has some advantages and disadvantages, that I want to discuss about them.

First, most of the young people dream is become rich and famous and some them trying hard to achieve their dreams, like as actors and models or dancers. Therefore, most of the people well known them and it’s a fantastic point, to be a head titer of magazines and online web sites to absorbing people, so, fortunately, that person gets rich, and most of the advertising grateful if they advertise their product. For example, when I was 5, I loved horses, and we always had lots of horses because my father was training them and my mother sold their kids to customers. Most of the time I played with them and enjoy my time to Imagined about horse race that I would win when I grow up. So, my family admitted me to learned to horse riding and when I become 16 I won a gold cup. And that was the first step of my famous luxurious lifestyle. Most of the time the people called me by my horse name ‘’HIRAD’’ that was an Arabic dark brown with white dots horse that everybody loved him. And our fans share our pictures on their web pages. Because of all these things, some production like as, fashion designers called me to work with them as their models to show their products by my name, and that was the interesting moment for me to make more money, so I worked for 5 or 7 types of products as famous horse rider person. After 20 years, my lovely horse got old and unfortunately, he got sick and we should have euthanized him, and I had to absquatulate my Olympic dream. But I really loved that famous lifestyle. While I missed my races the produtores instead someone else on my modeling job, because I don’t have any benefit for them anymore.

Second, sometimes, some people bothering some famous athletics, and write comments some bad words in their social networks pages.in some cases, when one Football team win, the looser fan team get angry and argued with the winner so the police cops should have arrested them. Or some nasty sadism people have threated famous people to scared them with send some letters.

In conclusion, the way of be famous is all the people talks about, their life, their clothes, their relationships, and all the details of their life. I hope my examples above has sufficiently expressed my opinion.

Votes
Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 371, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to scared them with send some letters. In conclusion, the way of be famous is a...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, really, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, in conclusion, in my opinion, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2228.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68067226891 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69924874535 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523109243697 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 696.6 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 12.0 1.86738351254 643% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.6319603346 48.9658058833 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.263157895 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0526315789 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42105263158 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0301478460527 0.236089414692 13% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0106722813303 0.076458572812 14% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0108308101762 0.0737576698707 15% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0243913812224 0.150856017488 16% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00590853092749 0.0645574589148 9% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.