Some people may think parents give their chidren money as a high grade's pay-off is not a good behavior. They may consider that this deal of money could let the children do some bad things as they lack of the experience of mastering money, and some may also condiser this action will render the children love the money rather that study itself. However, I think it is reasonable for parents to get this beal of money, since it's more like a motivation and could also culture the good behaviors.
To begin with, money, as a gift for a high score, is a motivation for students. I heard that many parents always be pride of other children while be scotty to their own children. They even could blame their children when their children get a relatively good result. In my eyes, they unnecessarily set too high requirement to their children, which have some bad effects. If the children cannot get the prize, for example, money, if they did pretty well, they would feel sad, and this bad emotion could then hurt their motivation to continue to chase. So, if the parents set some prizes, even a few deal of money, their children may be iglite to do better. In this case, money is not an obstacle for chirldren, but Its the hope for them.
Furthermore, the money could be a chance for parents to culture some good behaviors that is hardly to teach in other situation. For example, parents could teach their chilren how to reserve the money or how to use this deal to invest. These commercial techniques are of vital importance in the children's future lives. Thus, on my opinion, if the parents worry about their children may waste the money, it is a great chance to their need to teach them hot to use it. In this case, offering money as a prize for each high grade is a course for the children to culture good attitude to money ra.
In conclusion, the money could help the children keep the passion to chase a higher aim, and also help parents teach them how to magage this prize. Offering money itself is not a bad way. It determines how to utilize the practice.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 594, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun deal seems to be countable; consider using: 'few deals'.
Suggestion: few deals
... if the parents set some prizes, even a few deal of money, their children may be iglite ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 714, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...y is not an obstacle for chirldren, but Its the hope for them. Furthermore, the ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, i think, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1691.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 374.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.52139037433 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32715728176 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.457219251337 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 518.4 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.6315013009 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.9444444444 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7777777778 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.72222222222 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.347156227579 0.236089414692 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130220036179 0.076458572812 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0618651386983 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231222312561 0.150856017488 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0787455807837 0.0645574589148 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.08 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.