TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
there is no shortage of debate that every family have their own prefered methods to lead their children toward educations, and all of them have their own benefits. The controversial question which arises here is whether offering money for each high grade is an effective way to push school-age children toward success. As far as I am concerned, this stratagy is a fruitful way, and students will struggle more with their lessons. I feel this way for two main reasons which will be explored in the following paragraphs.
first of all, one should take into account the fact that by giving money to students for each high mark, they learn how to strive for each day, for having a prosperous life. that is, this method gives them a sense of purpose and they will establish for themselves both short and long goals. consequently, utilize their maximume knowladge to prepare themselves in the best way for each exam. my own experience is a compelling answer. when I was in elementry school I barely focused on my courses, and this problem actually agitated my family. after a while they offered such a fantastic option for me. they said if I attain high mark in each exam they will give me 10$ for that. after that I gradually increased my study time because I had incentive.
the second remarkable reason is that children seek true happiness, and readilly relax and release tensions. in other words, after each exam they immidietly give money, and they perceive that can see their magestic results as soon as possible. in contrast, the students who try hard for each exam and obtain a great mark, but their family never offer money such a praise for them. not only do they lose their motivations, but also never endeavor for their exams like before. for instance, my brother was not a lazy student, and his mark was high all the time. as a result, my family never provide for him such situation to encourage him to keep going. thus, he loses motivation and never study like before. had he earned reward like money, he would have studied hard, and attain high marks.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that family have to offer praises such money to encourage their children to receive high marks in schools. because it gives them a sense of purpose and strive for each day, and because they see their results with praises like money and progress.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
there is no shortage of debate that every fam...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
...lored in the following paragraphs. first of all, one should take into account th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 175, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...each day, for having a prosperous life. that is, this method gives them a sense of p...
^^^^
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
...r themselves both short and long goals. consequently, utilize their maximume knowladge to pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...emselves in the best way for each exam. my own experience is a compelling answer. ...
^^
Line 5, column 434, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
... own experience is a compelling answer. when I was in elementry school I barely focu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 543, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
...is problem actually agitated my family. after a while they offered such a fantastic o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 665, Rule ID: CURRENCY[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$10'.
Suggestion: $10
...igh mark in each exam they will give me 10$ for that. after that I gradually increa...
^^^
Line 5, column 679, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: After
...ch exam they will give me 10$ for that. after that I gradually increased my study tim...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...tudy time because I had incentive. the second remarkable reason is that childr...
^^^
Line 9, column 109, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...nd readilly relax and release tensions. in other words, after each exam they immid...
^^
Line 9, column 244, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...r magestic results as soon as possible. in contrast, the students who try hard for...
^^
Line 9, column 381, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Not
...ver offer money such a praise for them. not only do they lose their motivations, bu...
^^^
Line 9, column 475, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
...r endeavor for their exams like before. for instance, my brother was not a lazy stu...
^^^
Line 9, column 560, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: As
...nt, and his mark was high all the time. as a result, my family never provide for h...
^^
Line 9, column 652, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...tuation to encourage him to keep going. thus, he loses motivation and never study li...
^^^^
Line 9, column 707, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Had
...motivation and never study like before. had he earned reward like money, he would h...
^^^
Line 13, column 142, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...ldren to receive high marks in schools. because it gives them a sense of purpose and st...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, if, second, so, thus, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1947.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 410.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7487804878 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4028896445 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529268292683 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 596.7 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.86738351254 536% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.1327176751 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.5 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6363636364 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.36363636364 5.45110844103 135% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330266350318 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0975273837671 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0700897928917 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217326646472 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0183649889443 0.0645574589148 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.