TPO 40.Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

TPO 40.

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

One of the most concerns of the parents is their children's education. They want the children to get succession in their courses with high grades. To do so, parents may try various ways to encourage children. Some people believe one way to stimulate children is to give them money for each high grade which is attained in the school. In my way of thinking it is not a good idea to offer them money for high marks because not only does it mislead them on the concept of the study, but also it becomes a routine behavior for them.

The first reason which should be stated here is that offering money will change the comprehend of study. Children should know that they study for themselves. People increase their knowledge to have a better life and a better understanding of the surrounding world. Also, it helps them to enhance their awareness of a particular object which will lead to their future career. However, offering money for a better study is not a good way because it makes them study for the received money. They will think that they study for their parents, and the money becomes the purpose of them. In this way, they lose the real goal of the study and may lose their motivations because a little money for good marks is not enough stimulation for a long time study.

The other reason which deserves some words here is that giving money will be a normal behavior for children. When parents give them money for high scores for a long time, it will be a routine for children, then it will lose its influence as a motivation. After a while, students will not be eager for getting the money which makes a decrease in their study marks. In addition, parents may confront financial problems, and cannot be able to afford the prize money. By then, the child will not study anymore Since they used to give money for the study.

To summarize, parents should not allocate money for high grades which are attained by their children in the school. It will change the concept and certain goal of study in the children's mind and will become a repetitive behavior after a long time which will lose its value as a stimulator.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 81, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...here is that offering money will change the comprehend of study. Children should know that the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, then, while, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1751.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 382.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58376963351 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31467650226 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421465968586 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 539.1 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.5892829018 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.1578947368 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1052631579 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36842105263 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.363659070621 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136413310307 0.076458572812 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789234409799 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.248609193193 0.150856017488 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0870708660315 0.0645574589148 135% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.