TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Parents nowadays do not have enough time being with their children, so they are pretty serious about what to do when they finally squeeze their time to accompany their kids, either playing sports and having other kinds of entertainments or dealing with children's schoolwork. Personally, I would suggest parents spend this precious time doing something relaxing and trying to create joyful memories for their kids' childhood.

First, playing games with young children in their spare time will improve the family relationship between parents and children. Today, since adults are getting more and more pressure from their work, the time they spent with their children has been shortening gradually. Even though parents care so much about the kids' study at school, they should not show their concern as long as they have time to deal with family issues, because this will leave a negative impression of themselves being too pushy to their children rather than the image of kindness and caring. However, playing games, such as outdoor activities, going to amusement parks and traveling around other places, with their children are beneficial to building up positive bonds between parents and young kids. Spending the parent some time with their children discussing many issues that will create the trustful relationship between each other. Thus, if the children need any advice, the first person will talk to him is his parent since they trust in each other.

Second, playing games or doing sports will be helpful to let children be healthier, since, at school, teachers concentrate more of their effort on learning knowledge and spend less time on doing exercise to improve children's body conditions. After school classes, parents are supposed to pay attention to children's health development. Spending more time on trying to solve academic problems will make their kids in worse conditions, physically and psychologically. Young people, especially high school students, have spent too much time sitting on chairs indoors, and escaping from rooms are so necessary for them, otherwise, their bad health would create obstacles in their future development. Thus, it is necessary that the parent should spend their spare time with their children practicing exercise to helps them to blow off their stress, enjoy, and to be healthier since the exercises increase the blood flow into various organ of our body’s’ part, helps them to burn fat, and helps them to be in a good shape.

Although some may choose to spend more time on studying schoolwork, and they even show big progress in their grades, in the long run, parents should help their kids to make the right choice of keeping healthy. There are so many examples of people who are talented enough to make some breakthrough in work, but they are stopped by their physical conditions. An extraordinary artist, who is a friend of my mom, has won many prizes in the first thirty years of her life, however, she was too ambitious that used to locked herself in her office for days, suddenly she got an uncured illness and has to stay in bed for the rest of her life. Her life gives us so many pities and makes me rethink about my life’s pursuit.

In sum, parents would better spend their spare time with their children since it helps them to enjoy ,feel happy, and to build up a strong relationship between each other.

Votes
Average: 7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Parents nowadays do not have enough time...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l memories for their kids childhood. First, playing games with young children...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rent since they trust in each other. Second, playing games or doing sports wi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd helps them to be in a good shape. Although some may choose to spend more t...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ethink about my life's pursuit. In sum, parents would better spend their...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 106, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ir children since it helps them to enjoy ,feel happy, and to build up a strong rel...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'finally', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'so', 'thus', 'as to', 'such as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.233333333333 0.229887763892 101% => OK
Verbs: 0.171428571429 0.158761421928 108% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0920634920635 0.0866891130778 106% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0460317460317 0.046263068375 99% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0857142857143 0.0685040099705 125% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.109523809524 0.118717715034 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0539682539683 0.0351676179071 153% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.49954665133 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0396825396825 0.0309702414327 128% => OK
Particles: 0.0047619047619 0.00188951952338 252% => OK
Determiners: 0.047619047619 0.0887237588012 54% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0206349206349 0.0209618222197 98% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00793650793651 0.0139019557991 57% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3408.0 2387.08602151 143% => OK
No of words: 559.0 408.028673835 137% => OK
Chars per words: 6.09660107335 5.86048508987 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86242540663 4.48200974243 108% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.347048300537 0.338922669872 102% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.248658318426 0.251872472559 99% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.16457960644 0.174417080927 94% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.087656529517 0.112833075102 78% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49954665133 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 212.727598566 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.508050089445 0.524397521467 97% => OK
Word variations: 62.2081602724 59.2087087015 105% => OK
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6684587814 87% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0555555556 20.5533526081 151% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.25351886 48.84282405 148% => OK
Chars per sentence: 189.333333333 120.699889404 157% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.0555555556 20.5533526081 151% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.611111111111 0.644075263715 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 55.9213873981 45.7405998639 122% => OK
Elegance: 1.30890052356 1.45489161554 90% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362226483783 0.300154397459 121% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.118038497134 0.103427244359 114% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0629055203454 0.0752933317313 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.571072964015 0.497263757937 115% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.16236153815 0.151897553556 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.145258314177 0.114077575197 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0657922488052 0.0781384742642 84% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.329562785939 0.336927656856 98% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.094042724087 0.067059652881 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.247225979572 0.210909579961 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0483003379102 0.0618886996521 78% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8870967742 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.91756272401 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 2.4623655914 244% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: Thus, it is necessary that the parent should spend their spare time with their children practicing exercise to helps them to blow off their stress, enjoy, and to be healthier since the exercises increase the blood flow into various organ of our body's' part, helps them to burn fat, and helps them to be in a good shape.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and helps

Sentence: An extraordinary artist, who is a friend of my mom, has won many prizes in the first thirty years of her life, however, she was too ambitious that used to locked herself in her office for days, suddenly she got an uncured illness and has to stay in bed for the rest of her life.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and locked

flaws:
The third and the fourth paragraph are both about health. It is duplicated.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 559 350
No. of Characters: 2739 1500
No. of Different Words: 274 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.862 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.357 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.439 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5