TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Celebrities play an important role in people's life. For example, people tend to buy products used by celebrities, or change their viewpoints according to them. However, between parents, whether children are more influenced by celebrities have recently aroused heated arguments. Some people disagree, however, I agree with the statement that athletes and entertainers have profound effects on young people more than on old people. Firstly, this is because children are dexterous in using technology. Also, they are easily swayed by other people's opinion, especially if the person is famous or influential.

To begin with, teenagers are exposed to the media such as televisions, news and also social media. They are acquainted in using smartphones and through social media and internet, they easily search and receive news and information about celebrities. Therefore, they are more affected to celebrities thoughts and behavior. Also, as an example, on famous celebrities social media's we could easily see teenagers "retweet" and pressing "like" on their posts, or express agreement on the comment section. In comparison, in the past, older people have little access to these information because they are not dexterous in using smartphones. Rather than actively searching up information, they passively receive information. As a result, they get less affected by celebrities on media.

In addition, teenagers rather easily get affected by other people, especially famous superstars and athletes rather than being thoughtful in making their own decisions. They regard celebrities as their role models and desire to resemble them. One example affect of celebrities on advertisements. Teenagers purchase expensive accessories or equipment that their favorite singer or athletes have worn or used. Also, they tend to purchase products that celebrities advertise. Through this behavior, they try to identify themselves with the stars they admire. Also, teenagers consider those products "trustworthy" due to the presence of celebrities. However, adults, through their experience are able to ponder and examine their ideas. They are able to verify the reliability of the information and do not easily get swayed by popularity of the source.

In conclusion, young people easily get swayed by celebrities. This is due to they are able to actively accept news and opinions of stars through smartphones, and they do not thoughtfully consider the reliability of celebrity's opinion.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 347, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...s and behavior. Also, as an example, on famous celebrities social medias we could easily see teena...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 584, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'these informations'?
Suggestion: this information; these informations
...ast, older people have little access to these information because they are not dexterous in using...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, so, therefore, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2137.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 374.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.71390374332 4.8611393121 118% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19585834134 2.67179642975 120% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491978609626 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 666.9 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.0619095554 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.0416666667 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5833333333 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190844070623 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0584826234164 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0501089848241 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136063823063 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0455609552537 0.0645574589148 71% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.33 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.54 10.9000537634 143% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.